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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 7, 2009 23:03:44 GMT -5
Belle resisted the urge to step back from him as he caught her off guard with his question, but she forced herself to hold her ground. She tilted her head, trying to remember the little details. "There were some trees, and what I think was the moon. I couldn't really tell much, it was all messed up in my head." She watched him, trying to figure out what was going on.
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 7, 2009 23:08:36 GMT -5
No matter what, the moon was always the one detail that came back to haunt him - or more aptly, bite him. Expression shifting to something more reserved now, he gave only the hint of a smile, and it was a little bitter. "Of course you'd see that." Deciding to go about telling her a little differently than he did the few others he'd shared the secret with, he rolled up his left shirt sleeve abruptly. Just above his elbow, the whitened scars of rows of teeth marks were still starkly visible, and even looking at them as they were then made him cringe. He still remembered the pain as clear as day.
"It's only fair that I tell you that I'm a werewolf. I was turned by Fenrir Greyback near Knockturn Alley almost seven years ago now."
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 7, 2009 23:14:48 GMT -5
Belle stared uncomprehendingly at the bite marks for a moment, mouthing softly "werewolf" as she raised one gloved hand to gently trail over his scars, her touch as light as a feather. "You're a werewolf." She repeated, her voice lacking the judgment most people held for the species, more a curious wonder in her case. "That's why I can't see your future. Huh."
Belle let her hand fall from his arm and to her side, and she took another small step forward, staring up at him and giving him a very small, but friendly smile. "It doesn't matter to me. I still think you're amazing."
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 7, 2009 23:27:42 GMT -5
Her touch normally would have made him draw back, as the marks were more sensitive than most people would think. They were akin to cursed injuries, extremely slow to heal and go away. They had healed, but were still a reminder of why he was cursed monthly. A bit more relaxed this time around, he didn't flinch or move, but did roll his sleeve back down when she lowered her hand. "I suppose this means your ability only works when someone is completely human." The comment was more musing than anything, as he still found it very intriguing himself.
"I'm far from that, and I don't think amazing fits." It was a reflex to downplay and down himself, before others did it for him. And it was proving a hard habit to break.
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 7, 2009 23:32:58 GMT -5
"I guess so.' She agreed, watching him as he rolled down his sleeve. "I've never heard of such limitations before- it's rather interesting, in a 'why am I so weird' sort of way."
She smiled at him, a hint of a teasing smirk in the way her lips were positioned. "I find I disagree. I think you're amazing- no, more than that. Most people would not have remained so kind under the suffering you were treated to, let alone the process of reacclimatizing yourself. If there's one thing I know, people are cruel. They can't have been very different when it came to you." She paused, studying him again in her observative gaze. "Yet you still remain a very good person to others instead of turning your back on them as most would. I commend you for that, and my judgment of amazing stands."
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 7, 2009 23:41:06 GMT -5
"Funny how we can get away in our own minds with calling down fault on our own little issues, yet there are those that insist otherwise." One to be amazed over even ordinary things - he had always been that way, even before the Halloween incident - Zephyr was finding this situation both intriguing and perplexing. They were coming to a stalemate over being down on their own conditions - where most would condemn them as abnormal and unnatural.
"Since it doesn't sound like I'm going to budge you in your opinion, I concede to your points." He was a bit reluctant to say it, but saw the need anyway. If she wanted to think he was amazing, he would still disagree..but could counter with his own opinion of her. "But I have to say that you share the same distinction, if not better. I've met few people that would even give my..kind a second chance with the knowledge of the monsters we turn into, willing or not. You've not only done that, but you've made me feel as if my curse isn't a curse. It's just circumstance that can't be changed and can be accepted."
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 7, 2009 23:49:20 GMT -5
Belle laughed softly at his blunt assessment of the situation and shrugged. "I do believe you're right- I suppose one can never judge without having been there themselves, both the bad and the good." She smiled at him, a hint of mischief in her eyes. "I think if we were to ask a third person, however, we'd both be out of luck. Neither of us are exactly mainstream normal."
Belle blushed slightly at being called amazing, but she shook her head. "You're not a monster, Zephyr. A victim of a very bad circumstance, but not a monster. The only monster in this equation is Fenrir Greyback." She observed him for a moment, her expression eerily knowing. "Besides... I know you won't hurt me."
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 7, 2009 23:58:00 GMT -5
"Mainstream normal is just as bad, I don't care what anyone says about it." Well-versed in the bad of those that looked down on others, he didn't pursue the thought further. "If nothing else, at least we both agree to a point."
Considering a joke he often used when people pressured him, Zephyr wisely decided against it. "No, I can't hurt you..or anyone. I got myself into this situation because I didn't want to see someone else hurt. It was my choice, so that should give you good indication." He avoided the topic of monster status at this point, though, as he blatantly disagreed. No matter how calm, passive or otherwise docile a werewolf was during the rest of the month, the night of the full moon was always hell. The condition ensured it, and when one couldn't retain their own mind and reasoning, it was asking for trouble.
"Besides, I don't much fancy the taste of flesh." He chuckled quietly, shaking his head at how it sounded. "Nice and pretty or not, I don't think you'd taste very good."
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 8, 2009 0:05:06 GMT -5
Belle laughed, nodding. "I can't say I disagree. Who wants to be normal, anyway?" She joked, then made a face at him. "You make it sound like we agree on nothing."
She stared at him for a moment, taking in the enormity of the situation he had just described. Would she have done the same thing in his place? She wasn't so sure. Belle liked to think she was a decent person who would help someone out if they needed it, but to throw oneself in front of an attacking werewolf... that was a rather serious sacrifice. Though she realized it would make Zephyr uncomfortable if she said it out loud, it brought her respect and admiration for him up even more.
Belle tried to hide a blush as she grinned widely, raising a brow in a joking manner. "You think I'm pretty, do you?" She teased, then asked more seriously. "If you don't mind... what's it like during the full moon? Being a wolf and all?"
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 8, 2009 0:10:10 GMT -5
"That's why I said that in the first place." He grinned, then sat back as if imagining her wanting to hit him for his little subtly teasing remark. She didn't, though, but his grin remained. He found himself watching more openly, where in the past he would make only limited eye contact with someone. His reservations were starting to disappear, rather faster than he could begin to realize it. He had been speaking the truth when he equated the term pretty to her, but those were just background thoughts with most women he met. His track record with relationships was very patchy, after all. "Yes, I meant it." Was all he said on the matter, figuring she'd understand what was implied.
When she changed the subject again, he wasn't entirely surprised, but was startled at the question. He could tell she meant nothing malicious in it, but it was still hard to relate. "Are you sure you want to know?" He asked, voice now quieter than it had been thus far. If she insisted, he would share, but it would be a little difficult.
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 8, 2009 0:17:12 GMT -5
While she didn't hit him, Belle did make a face at him for teasing her. She couldn't help but revel in the fact that she could completely be herself around him- not only did he know what it was like to be her (more or less ostracized,) he seemed to return her playful jabs in like manner. She wasn't used to having people around she could do that with, and she was very greatful for having him around.
Belle's grin widened, completely genuine as she lightly rested her hand on his wrist. "You're not so bad yourself." She teased, knowing he would understand that she wasn't just saying it to be nice.
"If you don't want to answer it, you don't have to. I'd completely understand." She met his eyes knowingly- it was hard for her to be able to share what it was like being able to see the things she did. Sometimes it was easier to not talk about it.
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 8, 2009 0:24:14 GMT -5
"Now, I really hope you were teasing me there, otherwise I'm going to look like a beet before long." Already feeling a little heat rising to his face, Zephyr smiled in a sheepish manner this time. His demeanor again changed when understanding was offered if he didn't want to talk - but he was finding as he thought about it that he actually wanted to. No one had ever really asked what it was like to go through, and yes, it would be painful and emotional..but keeping it inside all the time chafed at his spirit.
"No, I..I've just never been able to tell anyone. I'll do my best to explain it if you still want to know." The call was hers, and he was trying to make that clear.
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 8, 2009 0:28:31 GMT -5
Belle managed to keep her face perfectly serious, solemn even, as she shook her head slowly. "'Fraid not. I was completely serious." She couldn't help but think he was even more adorable when he was blushing, but she wasn't going to torture the poor boy... not today, anyway.
She paused for a minute, trying to figure out what he wanted her to say. Finally, she nodded, understanding that he was letting her decide. Though she didn't want to cause offense and push him into something he didn't want to do, she nodded. "I would like to. I can't even fathom what that must be like."
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Post by Zephyr Carlisle on Sept 8, 2009 0:43:51 GMT -5
Biting his lip and taking the time to think about both possible routes of conversation, Zephyr decided on the one that would be better for him - and oddly, it was the harder one. He couldn't bring himself to keep anything off the table with Belle at this point, but where the change had come from would prove a good question. He always had a weakness for saying anything to anyone that would listen, but unlike all those other times, he wasn't getting the feeling that he was making a mistake.
"The day before is the worst. I can never sleep, the scars from the attack ache constantly, and it's like..in my mind, it's like reliving it repeatedly." Taking a slow breath and releasing it in the same manner, he smoothed his hair back as if to just have something worthwhile to do with his hand. "That's probably limited to me. The experience is different with each person, but it always makes me feel sick. The day of is bad too, and keeps getting worse up until dusk and moonrise. Even if I'm not in the direct moonlight, the..change comes. It doesn't matter where I am."
Thinking about all of it was making his face grow increasingly pale, and coupled with the fact that the event in question was coming up within the next week made it worse. "The actual transformation makes you feel like you're being ripped in ten different directions. Your back arches, your neck twists, your arms and legs have minds of their own..and the face is the worst. The snout appears out of nowhere, but it may as well be ripped out of your jaw. Clothes end up destroyed..and by the time you've changed, your mind's so far gone that you don't know what you're doing. We all tear at ourselves, scratch and bite. It's a compulsion. If there's nothing to attack or destroy, we attack ourselves."
Switching explanatory tenses only because that was the best way to depersonalize and step away, he sighed and ran a hand over his mouth, just imagining the snout. He could feel it even when it wasn't there. "If anyone comes around, no matter who it is, we'll attack. We can't discern people, and we don't care who it may be. They're a target for the rage and agony. The only creatures we can be around are animals..they won't get ripped apart." Letting out another slow breath, he then ran a hand across his eyes to subtly brush away wetness. He hated crying over it, but it seemed inevitable - he had always been sensitive, and that had become intensified over time and through a lot of verbal abuse and discrimination.
Wondering if he'd scared her away after all that, he looked at her once his eyes were cleared again, and his jaw was clenched from the effort of keeping further emotion back.
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Post by Belle Hullett on Sept 8, 2009 0:50:38 GMT -5
Belle was silent, allowing Zephyr to take his time and to go at his own pace. She didn't interrupt, and though she wanted to, she didn't reach out to touch him in silent support, either, but instead held still, taking it all in. The only thing that changed about her during his entire explanation was her skin color, and though it wasn't as pale as his, it was certainly ashen. It wasn't because he had scared her, however, but because she had never realized that the change werewolves faced every month was that horrible. When he was done she let him collect herself as she studied him silently, her face expressionless.
There were no words for what Belle was feeling- and even if there were, there was nothing she could have said that would have made a difference- so she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a hug that said it all- she supported him, she was there if he needed her, and that she was deeply sorry that someone so genuinely good had to go through something so horrible. She felt tears sting her own eyes, not out of pity, but at the fact that she couldn't do anything to help him. She pressed her cheek against his chest, hoping he didn't notice them, and therefore misconstrue the meaning behind them.
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