It Was One Of Those Nights..::Severus::..

[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

This World Has ,
Only one Sweet Moment

The heavens had choosen to open up and just let go on her the minute she and Cora had parted ways. Lily was pretty sure she could still apportate. She wasn't sure she should her wand was still safely tucked into the bright red locks that was now becoming plastered to her face. Cora had made such a good point that Lily couldn't just sleep on such a thought she needed to think needed to talk about it. Needed to go find someone and discuss this. Not to mention she could probly use some coffee--really strong coffee. Maybe something stronger than coffee too. However Lily didn't think she could handle any more drink tonight. She had given up counting on how many she had had. Lily was a small girl for the most part even at thirty one. Her cloak was pulled close to her and she slipped into the side alley and holding her wand. She apportated as close to Hogwarts as she could. The soft little pop indicated she'd gotten the spell off. Now here was to hoping all of her had gotten there in one piece. She had passed apportation with flying colors true-she had never done so under the influence.

Lily patted herself down to make sure she was all in one piece. Yes everything seemed to be in order. She would need a mirror she supposed to be sure but she overall seemed to be in one piece. She shook her head to ignore the sleepiness. She needed--alot of things. She thought and she was so far gone she wasn't really sure what first. She settled on getting into the Castle quietly. Dressed as she was she didn't have a problem with that. She was able to keep to the shadows and she still remembered the passages to use to get where she needed to go. She also knew how to get into Severus's rooms. She doubted he' d be asleep even given how late it was. He was something of a night owl. She herself wasn't much better. So managed to recall the password after only a single try. Than gracefully fell through the door. She sat where she was as the door closed behind her for a moment trying to figure out if she had tripped over her feet, her soaked clothes or the air. She decided to choose the air. Must have been it's fault. It was cold in the Dungeon she decided at that point. Her hands slipped up to rub her eyes. She could always call for him. However, that might disturb anything he was working on. She would probly have to get herself up and on her feet.

So with this in mind Lily did move slowly though to make sure to not trip over air again. Since it was everywhere. She peeked into the sitting part of the room and than did call out to him. "Severus..are you in ?" her tone was low a hushed whisper. It still carried though like a little girl that was trying to keep a secret. The red head might have sat down but didn't because she was completely soaked through after her walk and didn't want to damage the furniture. So she stood solemnly in the middle of the room silently cursing herself for the growing puddle on the floor.

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Set Aside ,
For Us

tagged Severus

words word count here seven hundred twenty twoSorry dear blame my muse! status Finished lyricsWho Wants to Live Forever-Queen

[Severus Snape]

Severus was quite nocturnal at the best of times, he was also up during the day of course given his roles in the school. Many people would find this a problem, however given Severus’ line of work, it was perhaps for the best that he only needed a couple of hours sleep and was a light sleeper when he did get his head down. There was little to do in his room at night, sure he could walk the castle, and did his fair share of making sure the students were in bed, but that filled all of an hour of the night, so he had his own minilab in his rooms.

The infirmary needed skelegrow, and a few other choice potions, but skelegrow was the main issue. He also needed veritiserum, it was one of those useful things that could help him in and out of school, so he had plenty to keep him occupied until he felt that he needed to sleep. Being as skelegrow was a complicated potion to brew with serious consequences for the slightest mistake, one might have forgiven him for being too involved in his work to notice much else, but then he was a paranoid man. With good reason as it turned out. The people he worked with didn’t trust him, the people who trusted him would not take well to that trust being broken should they ever find out. So the part of his brain that was not reminding his hands of the next step told him that one of the passwords on his door had been spoken, the one only select people knew. Then his ears told him just as clearly that the person who had spoken it had fallen over. This was a cause for concern.

He frowned at the potion he was making and then drew his wand, keeping it pointed at the floor for the moment as he muttered, “Lumos.” With the light spilling out from the tip of his wand, he walked towards the entrance of his rooms, keeping to the shadows. He had not been expecting a visit, and passwords could be found out or divulged, there was no such thing as being too careful even if he trusted the people that knew the password that had been spoken. He heard Lily’s hushed whisper and a smile touched his lips for the moment, though a look of concern took over when he noticed the state she was in, “Lily Ann Potter, you are going to catch your death and I am not sure that I want to try explaining just how your body came to be found in my rooms if you do. Sit down while I fetch some dry robes.”

[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

This World Has ,
Only one Sweet Moment

Lily could also be rather Nocturnal but the fact that she had kids who was more than happy to bounce on her at six am. Meant she usually had to get to bed before the sun came up or risk being sleepless for the night. Not that she hadn't been in the past. She would sit up if any of her children were sick and tend to them. Go to them if they had nightmares. So if she got a couple hours she was good. It was why at this point she was standing in the room dripping on his carpet. She wasn't quiet sleepy at least not yet. She was freezing she forgot how drafty the Dungeon's got since she was really only down there as a girl for the same reason she was down there now to see Severus. She was fairly good at guessing his activities after so many years of knowing him. Her lips curved up faintly at the side and hugged herself to keep warm. At least the clothes had gotten to the point where they were now her own body tempature and that wasn't so bad.

Lily could remember both the passwords usually. Today however she was lucky to recall her full name. She was still hoping she'd apportated properly and hadn't left anything behind. This was a minor concern because she was too tipsy to care at the moment. It had taken her all of a few minutes to give her feet and legs the pep talk needed to get her into the other room where she stood. She would have sat down but she didn't let the kids set on the couch when they were wet from playing outside. So she didn't either she was careful about that. So her traveling bag was set on the floor at her feet and she glanced up when she heard the spell or Maybe it was that she felt it. She knew where to look within the shadows to find him. Though even drunk her mind was a low haze since she had felt it very important to keep her mind covered when under the influence. She did remarkably well given her state.

At the sudden full naming she sat up a little bit straiter her green eyes wider under her bangs.She made a small sound that might have been squeek. Though she beamed at him anyways. "I would have sent a note but I left Nox at home and the weather would only confusing him so I'd have gotten here sooner anyways." she said. "I'd have sent my Patronus..but umm...I didn't think about that until just now." she blushed. Than shrugged and looked at him from her lashes "I always thought I was welcome here anyways." she whispered softly the tone one she only used with him."I can explain it perfectly well in detail. I will be glad to come back as a ghost and defend you if you feel that needed." she assured him with a wave of her hand. "I wouldn't let anyone blame you for my passing.." she said seriously than grinned "Sides you can always turn me into a butterfly or something." she added cheerfully. Nodding when he told her to sit down she moved from the puddle she'd been in to sit cross legged on the floor much like they had when they studied as students. "Thank you, dear." she added quietly.

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Set Aside ,
For Us

tagged Severus

wordsseven hundred thirty five NotesSorry dear blame my muse! status Finished lyricsIris-Goo Goo Dolls

[Severus Snape]

Severus did not have many concerns to keep him from burning the midnight oil, though he did like to get to sleep before the sun came up if a potion was not at a delicate stage, he was usually disciplined enough not to be in that situation more often than he was. Sure, he was more surly if he had not had any sleep but many could not tell the difference in any case. It was true enough that anyone who knew him would know his routine, the start of year was when skelegrow was needed, when first years were more prone to accidents due to becoming quite Faustian in their experiments. He did not mind the draft, and disliked being too warm given that he could get headaches, so it was not altogether an issue with him though it had been warmer when Slughorn had taught potions.

Severus did not often change his passwords, not unless there had been a serious breech in his security and there had not been for a fair while. Lily would be one of the few who would always know his passwords in any case. Severus did quite like his furniture, but he was a wizard and so was quite able to deal with any damp. He had cast his mind out almost instinctually to pick up any surface thoughts in case the visitor was not a friendly one and found…that the mind was quite well hidden enough. Lily was drunk, a state he never allowed himself to get into, but he would have to be sure to compliment her control when she was in a state that she would remember it. Seeing that she was in a state where sobriety was a passing memory, he flicked his wand towards a corner and coffee started to brew, firewhiskey to warm her would do as much harm as good. She was missing an eyebrow, now that he was able to look at her properly.

He almost smiled at her reaction to being full named, and did allow himself a smile as she beamed at him. He rolled his eyes lightly as she spoke of Nox but quite refrained from saying that he was sure the bird did not need the current weather to be confused, even drunk Lily quite likely knew that quite well enough, “If his cage hasn’t been locked, we may see him anyway.” He nodded, his own voice lowering a touch into a tone only she would ever hear, “You are welcome in my room any time that you choose to visit.” He smiled as she spoke of coming back as a ghost, or being turned into a butterfly, “Well, I think that we can avoid the necessities of that between us, as two professors and a mother ought to be able to.” He half turned to fetch those aforementioned robes when he saw her sit on the floor. He rose an eyebrow as a cup of coffee found its way across to her, along with a few squares of chocolate, “I do have a perfectly comfortable couch. It doesn’t mind people sitting on it.” There was a slight edge of ‘so you should sit on it’ in his tone though she tended to be quite impervious to such a tone at the best of times. He walked into the next room and flicked his wand at a robe, it would be big on her but it was better than nothing. Another flick of his wand sent them flying gently towards her while he kept his back turned, “They should do, they’re the smallest I have, but even big robes are better than wet ones at the moment.” He would keep his back to her while she changed, there was nothing of her that he had not seen before, but it was common politeness, even without the fact that she was not quite sober.

[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

This World Has ,
Only one Sweet Moment

Lily had young children that almost always meant she was up late. It was alright thought because that was the life she had chosen. She loved her children just like she loved the other kids as well. She also had skelegrow going in her lab at home. Her lab could be concidered to be better locked up than Gringott's because she had little children--curious little children. Of course she knew him well enough to tell if he had slept well the night before. Mostly because she knew him better than anyone else even those who thought they knew him. Slughorn had been interesting and she and Severus had been lab partners from the start. She felt that Slughorn was pairing them up for a reason. The fact the two of them were good together in Potions she suspected. She still had her note book. With both there notes scribbled in it. The draft didn't normally bother her but Lily rarely showed up drenched through.

That she knew his passwords was a given he also knew her's it was a just in case thing he had the only other key to her personal lot in Gringotts, and he had the only other key to Lilith's as well they were good at keeping each others secrets .She had helped him to enchant his bedroom and the rest of the rooms to be honest. Anti-scry guards and spells that would knock an Animagus out of its Animagus form. The same ones were in the House in Spinner's End because Lily sort of felt like that was where she enjoyed staying when in London. It was because it made her happy a reminder of better times. His parents like her's were long since passed. Still her's had liked him, and his mother hadn't been so bad either. She felt the poke at her defenses but they were still firmly intacted she wouldn't even let him in. It was one of those things she felt if she did he might nudge her about it. She was supose to be keeping up her defenses as he was teaching her how to do that. It was a state Lily rarely got into because it was not proper to do so with children she didn't want to teach them to be like that. Lily wanted to set a good example for them. Another reason she showed up here, it was safer than going home. She blinked faintly at the smell of coffee and sniffed the air delicately. She loved coffee with cinamon. It was her favorite scent. As he well knew by now.

"Yes I know that Nox may well seek me out." she told him as she shook her head sending her red hair around her shoulders and down to her waist the way it was drenched through. The majority of it was loosely pinned up with her wand. Which she likely had no idea that it was there to begin with. She colored warmly at the tone he answered her in. "Thankfully." she said with a dip of her head. "I was just making sure. My Prince." she added with a wink when he smiled at her a sight rare enough to be seen. "Yes, I think so too." she agreed firmly "I'd miss being alive." she said wistfully. She took the coffee that was floated to her and the chocolate she took the square and chewed it. Sniffing at the coffee and wrinkling her nose as she sipped at it. Lily wasn't big on black coffee but it was what was best at this point given that she was still quiet tipsy.The raised eyebrow didn't quiet work on her the way it did his students. She merely smiled faintly up at him and sipped the coffee without making another face. His tone only made her smile at him and tip her head to the side at the mention of his couch. She patted it with a hand."I am sure that it does like it." she watched his precise movements over the top of her cup. "Just not while I am in wet clothing I don't allow my children to do it. I won't start now." she explained taking the robes that he floated over to her. She piled her wet clothes next to her slipping into the offered robe. She knew perfectly well how to work his robes. They were big on her. She stood and rolled the cuffs up once so they weren't dangling over her fingers.The fact the soft material fell over her feet was okay. She was barefoot and they felt nice pooling like that.

She was steady on her feet that was a bonus she figured and she crept closer to him since his back was to her. Arms slipping around his waist as she hugged him. "All dressed now." she said with laughter in her tone.Her cheek resting against his back. "its really pouring outside. Even so it like waited for me to step out of the Pub to get me." she murmured."Hair still isn't dried yet either." she added. "But, you are warm!" her tone dropped back to the lower tones she used with him. "I need to talk to you, and about alot of things but I umm..can't recall all them at the moment but it was important before--Oh, potions yes..do you think it possiable to make a better Wolvesbane potion than the one in the book ? I think between the two of us we could.." she said. Not that she thought she was in any condition to do that at the moment. She felt it needed to be said so it could be thought on.

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Set Aside ,
For Us

tagged Severus

wordsone thousand one hundred thirty six NotesBeware Random Hugs from Affectionate Red Heads status Finished lyricsHer Diamonds-Rob Tomas

[Severus Snape]

Walk blindly into the light
and reach out for his hand

Severus knew that he had a daughter, it had been unexpected but it had never been considered a mistake. Of course, there was only he and Lily that knew, and he would not be working towards changing that, Lilith had a note in her vault at Gringotts, she would find it, and decipher the code her parents had used in potions and were teaching her now, when she was ready to find the truth. It didn’t stop him having the same concerns any parent did, however, how she was, whether she was recovering from a bug any child might go through, it only looked like he was dead inside on the surface. It was true that Lily knew him better than anyone else, they had been close until their argument and closer still since. Lily and Severus had been brilliant at potions, and if one had the slightest uncertainty, which was rare enough, it had been unheard of for them to both have the same problem. Slughorn might well have paired them together because that was then two less students he had to worry about.

Lily and Severus had been confidantes before they had been at Hogwarts, and it had only been natural that the two would continue in the way whatever their Houses were. She was his first point of contact at the Order when he learned something that they needed to know, and the only one who trusted him completely in that regard, other than perhaps Dumbledore, quite possibly including himself. Wards had been important and Severus had not been too proud to go to Lily for help, she was a prodigious charm mistress, he had added a few wards of his own but she had done much of the work. She was more than welcome at Spinner’s End, the park or her home had been his first port of call whenever his parents had argued and they had grown to argue more and more frequently over time. He couldn’t say that he had liked his father, it was a shame and a sadness, even if one he would never show, in itself, but he knew that his mother would have been happier had she not met him and she was the one that had shown him any sort of affection. He quite approved of Lily’s keeping her defences up, occlumensy was not the easiest of disciplines and not one that was wise to allow to falter, that Lily had kept hers up even with being drunk had been impressive. A little ground cinnamon found its way into the coffee, other than that it was going to remain undiluted, all the better to sober her up some.

Nox was…Nox. That was all that was to be said really, he was pretty and loyal and other than that he had little going for him, especially if it came to following she he had that loyalty towards in the rain. Severus noticed the wand, he had an eye for detail, but said nothing on it for the moment. Smiles were rare from Severus, his emotions were kept buried very deep within, past the reach of even the Dark Lord, the greatest leglimens of this and quite possibly any generation, it would take one who knew him very well to guess at his emotions, and only Lily could know them with any degree of certainty, “I don’t see you not being any less welcome than you have always been any time soon, dear.” He nodded, he would quite miss Lily alive also, it had to be said. Severus quite knew Lily’s tastes, he hadn’t expected her to overly like it, simply to drink it if she felt it would help. He was a terror to the children, or so it could seem. He only ever had to raise an eyebrow and give a dry comment, but then they had never seen the almost mythical softer side to him. He knew that he was not going to get her to do what she did not think proper and held back a sigh, “Well let’s get you dry then.” He did like the couch, he was also a talented wizard who could deal with a little damp, but if it was the example she set her children then he knew better than to try and get her to budge on her position. That he kept his back to her while she changed was simply how he was. They had studied in the bathrooms at night, where it was quiet and they could be together, Lily liked bubble baths and Severus had been in the room with her, she knew that she could trust him in that regard. Of course, there was the time that she had dragged him in…but for the most part it had been just another study session.

He could hear her moving about though, and it did sound like she was steady on her feet. Which likely meant that he was going to be pounced, that was something that only she was ever going to get away with, given his general, and quite justified, paranoia, but this was a gesture that had always made him feel safe coming from her. He patted her hand, “Well yes, rain can be evil like that, especially when it has one target in mind.” As she mentioned her hair, he reached his hand back and allowed it to move through her damp locks, gently removing a tangle before turning as she said that he was warm and wrapping her into a hug of his own, “Well we can soon see about getting you just as warm.” He continued to smooth out any tangled locks of hair, listening to her and assuring her, “There’s no rush to remember.” As she mentioned wolvesbane, his brain worked out the fundamentals of the potion, “I am sure that they don’t have the most efficient stirring pattern in the book, but the immediate thing that springs to mind is willow root which works to alleviate pain and has been missed off the list of ingredients all together. Between us, we can likely do better than that if we sit down and pool our thoughts, that’s just quickly off the top of my head.”

Don’t ask any questions
and don’t try to understand

Tagged: Lily
Words: One thousand and forty four Notes: So I wanted to give this a try. Hugs from affectionate redheads are not objectionable Status: Finished Lyrics Drown – Scarlet Sins

[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

There's Nothing Else To Loose ,
There's Nothing Else To Find

She had been as surprised as he had been since she hadn't even thought of that but welcomed it just the same like the motherly person she was. He had been the first person she told and Cora after the fact because she'd been so excited. Of course she hadn't known the gender she wanted to be surprised.Though she shared that with him as best she could. They had both written the notes within Gringott's vault for her. In his hand so that the daughter followed in the parents footsteps. Lilith already had a nack for wanting to do Potions and that was apparently a family affair. Lily always told him how Lilith was, there were of course picture books. Things that no one else would ever see because she charmed them to look like something else. Lily was quiet crafty when it came down to it. Years of being around him some might say. She had excellent control of her magic as a girl and she built her enchantments to last. If there was an issue with Lilith it was usually Severus who she sent for because it seemed the right thing to do. Like the time Lilith had eatten crayons with peanut butter and firmly locked herself in her mother's magic closet. Taking with her the only key. Lily had been in tears and beside herself because the key was the only way to get in short of Apportating and she was afraid of hurting her child to try it. There days in potions had gone smoothly she and Severus had been able to finish there work often ahead of scedule praticularly when they worked at night in the bathroom.She had always looked to him when she had a issue with something. To be the one of them to figure it out. When he had issues she helped by narrowing the facts down. Slughorn hardly had to teach them since they already seemed to know what was going on.Severus's notes always helped.

Growing up she had learned from him about the Wizarding World, it was something exciting to know things for her. She never grew tired of listening to him tell her of the world she'd be going into. Though the older she became the more she favored the muggle world. It wasn't something that could be help she suspected it was just her roots were fairly strong within her. The Hat had told her that she couldn't be in Slytherin though she had protested that she needed to be with Severus. It had told her he had his own path to take and would serve best In Slytherin. She was Gryffindor through and through. She hadn't liked the idea, but the fact they were from rival houses never seemed to matter. He was her confidant and she was his. She listened to what he told her and she was there for him when the world was hardest for him. There to hold him in the night and whisper that it would be all right. Lily knew he reported to Dumbledore even if she didn't know what the Headmaster did with such information. She gave what she felt was safest for the Order to know. She had a position that wasn't one she'd wish on anyone but would not shrink either.It was dangerous for Severus and she was stuck between knowing too much could also be its own curse. He hadn't needed to ask her for her aid she willingly offered it. For his protection because she loved him. The wards he had added were mostly for the mind since Lily was still learning from him. Lily felt more at home at Spinner's End than her own house these days and he well know that. Eileen was the only one of his parents that Lily liked, his father was so loud she felt the need to protect him from the man. She was afraid he might actually hurt Severus one day. he could always catchs glimpses but Lily's defense against being mentally invaded was to give only what she wanted to give. She gave brief glances of things. Usually things that only she would understand, or of course Severus. Still if he had pushed hard enough he'd have gotten in. The initial scanning of surface thoughts though really was muddled so nothing was gained.

She knew when he buried himself beneath the cold exterior and she understood why he did it. She could never fault him for it. Just endeavor to be the one to take care of him either way. There fight had put a rift between them but that was because they were so passionate towards each other. Her parents death had been what had really allowed her to reach out and reform old bond, deeper bonds. With Lilith they were deeper still. She was keen on Severus's emotions she could tell when something was bothering him, she could tell when he was secretly amused or when he was seething. All things she'd seen it had come from so many years knowing him.Lily wore her emotions on her sleeve, or had before things had become so complicated. She now was a bit more reserved. Though she doubted many would have noticed, seeing her as the same motherly woman as she had always been. She smiled faintly at being called dear. "I know that...but its nice to hear it" she said with a nod of her head. "I am not insecure nor doubting...its just pleasing to know." she admitted. Lily understood that everyone had a way of protecting themselves from the world. Severus had built walls that it would take more than most people had to ever get over, around or through. The witch knew how to get in through the secret door. He had given her the key anyways. She stiffled a giggle at the sigh and peered up at him with a fond grin."Yes I think that would be for the best, I wouldn't want to catch the flu." she said. She had no doubt that he could fix any damage she did to his furnishing just as she had no doubt he had simple charms for healing as well. She just didn't like to get to the point where it needed doing. Lily had always trusted him she trusted him to teach her properly before they had even gotten to Hogwarts, and she'd been his closest ally on the train and against the students that would pick on him with his lack of Social graces. One could say they'd been sweethearts and being undressed around him had never been a fear of hers. She knew he'd stay focused on there home work. Even when she had dragged him into the water with her. It had been to break the tension homework was causing. There was a time and place for everything. Homework was Homework though and they were both disciplined the more intimate times were private and they never got caught. It amused her they got caught doing homework. All because her care of Magical Creatures had not liked him and chased him growling across the bathroom. Lily had been trying to grab her wand, but it had made enough noise to get them both caught. If looks could kill she and Severus would have been ten feet under.

Lily was capable of pouncing him so she knocked them both down, her currently level of intoxication pleaded with her to be serious she doubted she could handle that so he would have to settle for the sneaky hugs she gave him instead. Though if she made him feel safe he did as well. With the warm large robe around her when he hugged her. When he held her. She felt safest at night when he was curled close by or she was in his arms. It was as simple though as complicated as that. "Oh, I don't know that I was its specific target, since it fell all over the place. I just happened to have to walk to the castle in the mess." she blinked when he brushed a hand into her hair. Her hair was often something he played with when they were younger she would lean her head on his knee or his leg and watch the clouds or listen to him talk about magic and the world beyond the one she saw. That had been the start of it so when she was on the swing his fingers often found the flame hued locks. Lily had never really minded she didn't mind his touch.She nestled close when his arms went around her. Leaning her head against his chest. "At least it wasn't freezing rain, and you always warm me when your close." she did giggle at that. "Well not with someone who could read my mind." she answered with a wink. "Its just a number of things, I have never felt so drained.." she admitted. Though as he shifted towards the potion she stayed leaned against him almost sleepy listening. "Mmmhmm." she agreed I think that if you stir in the willow root at the end once it begins to let of the blue smoke that it would be stronger...I also think that we need to double check to make sure there is no Anised in it. Since that can be bad for a dog, I would labour under the same concerns for a werewolf. If they added that it could be what sickens, so any dirivitive of that would be bad." she answered surprised her brain was even working at the moment. "I believe we should take the potion and tear it apart and rebuild it from its foundations on up." her head tipped back to glance up at him. "I have no doubt we can do it, you know were both capable."

One hand slipped up to toy with his hair quietly as she formed her next words "I was with Cora tonight, and she said alot of things that made me think...she said that...I..I should tell James so that he can move on too. She's not wrong but I don't know how to properly go on with that." she whispered "At the very least I feel I should find myself somewhere else as well..but I don't want to upset the children...there's no easy or right answer to it. I can't stay with him when I am not happy..she was correct when she said we should all be happy too...Even you." she added with a faint shake of her head. "Cora, has a point even drunk." she sighed "Still I think that it might be clearer once the drinks I had wear off." she dropped her voice lower as well. "What are your thoughts ?"

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There's Nothing In The World ,
That Can Change My Mind

tagged Severuswords2031NotesWell As long as its alright ^^ status Finished lyricsNo One-Alicia Keys

[Severus Snape]

WALK BLINDLY TO THE LIGHT
and reach out for his hand .

don't ask any questions
AND DON"T TRY TO UNDERSTAND

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

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Severus had known when Lily was pregnant that the child was his, and had been there with Lily when she had given birth, at Spinner’s End. Severus had been in his rooms during the Halloween Ball when the Patronus had reached him, Lily had been naughty in that regard and as soon as he was out at Hogwarts, stopping only to dock points and give detention to two students in the secret passage he was using (they didn’t dare ask well what was he doing there), he had been also, apparating into muggle London. Lilith had taken an interest in potions, which meant that he and Lily had done what they could for her, including teaching her just how they had taken their notes. Severus knew that Lily was crafty, they had learned well off each other and that was something that had rubbed off him to her, as had a small bit of her compassion rubbed to him. Severus was quick to come to Lily’s aid if such were needed and since Nox had delivered the message about the closet, he had been as quick as he could knowing that Nox, for all his efforts, and for all the fact that he could find Severus anywhere when he couldn’t even find home, he was not the most reliable of owls. He had patiently coerced Lilith from the closet, part of which involved telling her mother loud enough to hear that if they did not get to her soon, she would need to be dosed with a particularly foul tasting potion to ensure that she did not suffer ill effects from the mix of peanut butter and crayons. Lily and Severus had both been intuitive when it came to potions, they had torn apart a potion and completely remade it before now and it was true that Slughorn barely needed to teach them.

Severus had told Lily all he knew of the wizarding world. In a way he had always sought to impress her, and that had been taken to quite a misguided area with joining the Death Eaters, as useful as it was now. Severus had not had the best experience with muggles, well, his father, though he could survive in the muggle world. He could cook, and if he had not been a wizard could have done so professionally, it was a step down from potion making after all. He had been upset to see Lily go into Gryffindor, he had known full well where he was going and that it was going to make things harder, though until he fell completely off the rails, the two of them had made the best of it, better than many others would have done. He did not blame his House, nor what had happened in their final year, for the path he had taken. He would take it back, in a heartbeat if he could, but he knew that there was no turning back and had simply accepted it. Having Lily made it easier, he did not like to talk of deaths, he had a few that had come by his hand, such was necessary and he had still yet to find the line that he would not cross to avoid compromising himself, but other than that, she knew more of the Death Eaters’ plans than anyone else did, and he trusted her to pass on only what would not harm him. Severus had not had the happiest childhood, it had been true. His mother had had her good times, and Severus had inherited her love of potions, but his childhood had always had the shadow of his father hanging over him. Severus had slipped out to the park whenever they argued, Lily seemed to find her way there quite often during those times as well. That was something that they could only grow closer through.

Severus would not allow anything that he did not want to show out into the open, and he had to keep those guards up at all times. To let it slip when it was not needed would mean that he could not know he could rely on it when it mattered, and whenever he was in the Dark Lord’s presence, it certainly mattered very much. He was at least more disciplined now, and les prone to anger. He had grown cold at school to a degree, and had given James a very clear warning, a mild taste of Sectumsempra that could have been so much worse. Lily was where he was passionate, and she still could raise him to, well, anything, passion, happiness, anger when she was harmed, sadness. She had once told him that he was the only person who could break her heart, and he was in very much the same situation with her. It had been that passion that had caused them to strain that bond, and the feelings that were always there that allowed them to rebuild. She had needed someone at the funeral, and he could not have said no whatever the situation was between them and whatever it would be after. Lily knew him better than any would, it was as simple as that and something that could not be replicated without years of truly being with him, he did not let anyone in easily, nor very rarely at all, now certainly not enough for that to happen. He nodded, “I know that you are not insecure, dear, I merely affirm that you shall not have reason to be.” His lips twitched briefly, “And that you shall always hear so.” He shot Lily a not quite half meant ‘Amused, I am not’ look as she giggled, “It would certainly help if you didn’t chase it so.” They had never really been anything formal, or rather they had never called what they had anything, they had just been. It was how things had come so naturally to them, from sharing homework to varying states of dress and undress. Severus was a gentleman in that regard, Lily was there to enjoy a bath, not to be gawked at. While he found her attractive, he minded his manners, knowing full well that it was a trust she was showing to him. He had given her a look at being dragged into the bath, there had been a sense of amusement in it, mixed with the shock and mild annoyance, but it had done what lily had intended and broken the stress. At least that had not been the time they had been caught in there, McGonagall would have had another litter.

Severus would lash out blindly at many people who jumped him, but he knew when it was Lily in a way that could not be put into words, and he accepted it when he was pounced, when he was hugged, she was the only person that could do that to him. And he was quite happy to help her feel safe, to stay awake all night if such were needed or just to hold her. When speaking of the rain, they fell into an easy patter, “Ah, but it did lay in wait for you. I think I shall have to see about doing something about that.” He had not always known when he was playing with Lily’s hair, it had been a comfort reaction, something that he had found far too rare at home, it was touch, feel, being with, and slightly intimate with, another. He held her close as she nestled against him, “Always glad to be of service in warming you up.” He never added anything to his coffee, he liked the taste as it was, though a dash of cinnamon found its way into Lily’s, “I do not attempt to read your mind in detail and the precautionary nudge I gave when I didn’t know who was in my room bore no fruit in any case, so you are certainly keeping your defences up well.” Severus considered as they spoke of the potion, “Hmm, yes. I don’t think that those who made that potion really thought about werewolves and dogs as having the same weaknesses, but it is something that bears investigation, and between us we should certainly be able to remove and replace any ingredients we need to.” He nodded as she spoke of tearing the potion up and rebuilding it, they were more than capable.

He listened to her without interrupting. Once he was sure she had finished, he noted almost dryly as he thought about what she had asked, “Do you ask me for a considered opinion or one that I could easily come to given our pasts because it is how you feel right now?” Not giving her time to answer and showing that he was taking her seriously, he continued, “I believe that there are four people you need to consider, James and I do not make up two of them. Your children, Harry and Charlie as well as Lilith, and yourself. It is not an easy question, given my involvement it is not one I can give a quick answer to if an answer is wanted without the past colouring it, nor is it one you should make a definitive decision on while drunk. I can think on it for you, and I can give you a better answer, or we can think of one together rather, but for now I can only say that you have my support whatever happens.”

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[/color] ![/b] One thousand five hundred and sixty nine
tag ! Lily
song ! I Believe – Blessid Union of Souls
[green]notes[/green] ! My longest roleplay here
other ! Lily and I write novella length threads for fun, fun I say!

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[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

♥Lily{Ann}Evans-Potter♥

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Now I don't hardy know her[/color]
but I think I could love her
Crimson & Clover[/color]
I wish wish she'd come walking over.
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Yes

, Lilith was a surprise but a pleasent one and one Lily was not about to give up. No matter what the out come. She liked being a mother she was good at it. That Lithie was born on Halloween was no big surprise to her. It would figure at least one of her children would be. Even more no big surprise that it would be her first daughter. She knew she wasn't suppose to send her Doe out like she had certainly but Halloween itself was magical. Not that he didn't break rules too by traveling via magic to get to her. Lily had gotten a mid wife, just a local woman, a muggle. She didn't feel she needed magic to have a baby. Woman had been doing that for years without magic. She was quiet capable herself. She had insisted on continuing to hand out candy until she couldn't any longer. She had dressed up also in the style of a greek goddess it had been fun. Lily had been fortunate to have little problem giving birth since Muggle Hospitals just made her think of her parents, and she really didn't want to pop into St Mungo's though she knew she would have been welcome there as well. She prefered the old fashioned way honestly. The older Pookie got the more like them she was. The girl wasn't interested in flying. Oh she liked the golden snitch. So did Lily, the little thing was cute. She had bought Harry one to play with when he was little, since at one he was happily zooming around on his broom. Of course it was bound to happen that children would be children and even Lilith who was usually good had her bad times. Lily had called for him and was amazed that Nox had gotten to him in time. The little bird seemed to be able to locate Severus very well. Though not her so much, but he would try. He would always try. The fact that they had started to discuss magic potions outside the cupboard had spurred Lily to go along with it. She had agreed with him. Listing infrediants she knew Lilith would find foul. Severus was most certainly correct that it had brought Lilith out of the closet rather quickly. She would say it had just come from the years in advanced Potions they had, had. For she had Severus it was a matter of being told what they were doing. Which allowed them to pull it apart and have it stream lined to turn a phrase.

If he would have been more sure of himself he would have realized she was already quiet impressed with him. Lily had liked him from the start. Well..actually after the event of being called a Witch. Since that did seem quiet rude. Of course she'd read somewhere that red hair and green eyes were traits of a witch. So were big noses and warts. In Muggle fairy tales. She couldn't tell him she only wanted him to be himself, because she thought he would have already known that. So it was a mis-step on her behalf. It had hurt her more than she thought it was possiable to not speak to him again. Though Lily was always a compassionate woman, and his letter told her he was truely sorry, and it gave her a view into feelings that she had known was there. He didn't much like the Muggle world but the older Lily grew the more she felt more at home in it. Oh she loved Diagon Alley, and she adored Hogwarts. However it was Spinners End that was more home to her. Since it also felt like on occassion she could catch the ghost of his mother. Not in the way that she could see ghosts at Hogwarts but rather in the manner something would remind her. She had been a spectacular witch, and Lily didn't know why she hid it away why she would give up everything for a man who would only tear her down. She had never said anything of it. Though it seemed that the curse of being in love with anyone with muggle blood was heart ache. She and Severus were perfect examples of that weren't they ? She had gone to him after the letter because no one else would be able to reach him quiet like she could. It wasn't pride she felt that she could get through to him when no one else could but rather a sadness. She was the only one in the world for him. She couldn't move on because she was still ensnared by the past, and he was still caught up on her. That they had pushed aside there affections for one another and tried to be just friends, but when you start to bond on the levels they had some things simple were like forces of nature-the heart wants what the heart wants. Lily was always one to follow her heart. Except when it went against what she felt strongly about. She had loved him as a boy because it seemed his parents were to busy having at each other to remember they had a son. She knew there were times his mother was good to him, but nurturing took more than just an occassional hug or touch. She had risked getting in trouble often as a girl, because if she caught sight of him from her home in the Park she'd slip out. Night clothes or not. it was late at night Lily truely looked witchy, with bright red hair, and white long sleeved night gown. Usually wrapped in a blanket or her mother's warm coat. Just to sit with him on the swings, or up a tree with the blanket wrapped around them both. She never had to ask why he was there,it was painfully obvious so she'd turn his attention towards something else to distract him.

Time had not quiet mellowed him out but it did give him an aura of coldness that he could turn on or off. Lily had seen him do that at least once. She was very good at keeping her face neutral and her mind blanked as he had taught her. Anyone reading her mind at any given time would likely pick up little more than music since she had a juke box in her head and she played song she liked over and over in her mind. It was one of the many ways she kept her thoughts her own. Lily had seen the handiwork of Severus's spell. More so she recognized it too. Though she said nothing to Severus of it. It was like a private war between the two of them. Only James had an army. It was any wonder that Severus had developed combat spells. Anyone who was picked on to the extent he was either because a victim or they fought back. He was not a victim she couldn't expect much more. She just endeavored to keep them out of each other's way. It had been one of there really serious talks in there private place in the woods. Lily stretched out with her head against his shoulder. watching the fleeting stars through the canopy of tree limbs and clouds. It was as close as either of them had ever come to naming there relationship. The admitting he had her heart said so much. They were in the same situation. Which was why years later when he gave her the heart locket it meant more than just a piece of jewelry to her. Lily knew she could bring out his emotions both the good and the bad. She was his defender openly, and he her's otherwise it was something that had come about years ago, and was not about to go away even with the falling out they had. Since Lily would still defend him even after he'd broken her heart. Hearts could be repaired. He could alway cheer her if she was sad or improve a bad mood for her since if she was sad around him he picked up on it. Much like he could be moved to anger if she was harmed, and the boy he had been would flash through on that, he was more than capable of doing bad things to anyone who caused her harm. It was why Lily didn't provoke such a thing or use it against him. It would be wrong.The loss of her parents had hurt worse than anything she had experienced that far. They had died so senselessly. Lily had suspected that it might have been a Death Eater attack. The Evans were always sweet and kind people. They would help anyone in need. It was where Lily had gotten her stand up for those who would not stand up for themselves attitude from. She had needed him yes. She had needed someone who knew, who understood, who had known her parents at there best. She needed him because she knew Tuney would not want her there, and she needed him because he was him. He was that connection to her past that made her feel safe. She had fought loving him. She had a husband and two boys at home. Still Lily couldn't deny her emotions or that through just being there for her, defending her and taking care of her he won her over quicker than any show of power, of anything he could offer her other than himself. She never imagined herself to be the cheating kind, but to be fair she had loved Severus first, there was no one else in the world but him that could have inspired such actions. Lily was by nature passionate, he just brought that out more in her. "Nor do you, no matter what a piece of paper says of me." she said in a soft little whisper. She wasn't sad she was still to warm from his arms around her. The sweeping robes he often wore made excellent blankets. She peeked up at him at the tone he used and gave him a warm little grin in reply to the fact he almost smiled at her. "Ah, but my Prince I can not help it..as you well know I like the rain, playing in it...when its at its possiable worse, its like a jolt through me, like I its cleansing." she said. As a girl she had liked to play out in the rain, until Tuney dragged her off grumbling about her not having the common sense to come inside, and getting her fool self struck by lightening.

Lily had come by the bathroom by hearing someone crying in one of the bathrooms she had darted into to get away from the Marauders. She had been surprised to find a ghost in there. Though she had quickly befriended Moaning Myrtle as the other kids called her. Lily had a soft spot for people who needed a friend. If anyone was that person it was Myrtle she was very gothic so when she visited she brought Lovecraft and Poe to read to Myrtle as grim as the stories were they always seemed to cheer her up well. It had been from there Lily had talked her Potions Partner into doing there homework in that bathroom. That it had a useable tub was something that made her take notice. Since soaking peacefully in a bath with a bunch of other girl's milling about was generally out of the question. She had decided to take a bubble bath in there. Even if it made Myrtle giggle. Given his nack for potions and her love for her namesake. He found a way to make her a bubble bath potion so that the bubbles didn't go away with movement. Lily had never had an issue with being naked around him he always adverted his gaze even if her removing clothes had turned him red. They had played in the water as kids and Lily still felt that same comfort. Part of it could have been that she was concidered beautiful she didn't feel the need to hide herself away. Another part of it was the headaches she sometimes got dealing with friends of friends. So she had been in the tub for only half an hour or so when she had drifted off. She had left her Care of Magical Creatures book in her bag, since she had never had a problem with it. Needing to cross reference something from it for Potions. Severus had pulled the book out of her bag and just opened it, forgetting to pet the spine. Lily had been startled and thusly dunked under the water when the book growled and took a bite and Severus who managed to drop the thing. It wasn't satisfied with being dropped and had chased him clear across the bathroom. Growling and hopping after the poor boy. Lily had been terribly shocked by the whole thing and had gotten to her feet and grabbed for a robe, since they usually sat on them to keep the chill of the floor away. She grabbled the wrong robe though, and was in a slytherin robe unknowingly. Since his was closer as he sat leaned against the tub with the book opened so she could read too. Miss.Norris had heard the sound and brought with her, her master. Bursting into the place to see a half dressed red head grabbing up a growling, teeth gnashing book and gently stroking the spine to make it purr against her. The lanky black haired boy leaned against the wall with the book trying to climb after him, and failing because it couldn't quiet reach though it had bit him soundly on an ankle. Both there heads of House had been called, and Lily and Severus had been ushered upstairs to see Dumbledore, McGonagall and Slughorn. That had gone wonderfully. Slughorn couldn't help but grin. Lily had been his favorite student and Severus was one of his house. So the idea of them together seemed to tickle him. McGonagall was less than charmed by the thought. She had scolded Lily for being in the bath with a boy in the room. She was always more proper and tight laced than the other professors and Lily would have agreed she was right .Had it been any other boy. The fact that more than one person thought something more intimate had occured was not lost on either of them. Though she had hugged him at one point because he'd gotten out of sorts. They had both wound up with Detention, and Lily with more Transmutation homework than she could have ever wanted. Both of the Heads of House were dismissed leaving Lily still hugging him, wither they were looking disapproving or not at the pair of them.Even with the volenteering to take the truth potion Dumbledore had waved it off. Telling the two of them to be more mindful next time, which was his way of saying be sneaky.He had offered both lemon drops and sent them back to there Common's Room. Lily had, had a time explaining why she was in a Slytherin Robe carrying a Care of Magical Creatures book, and little else. The rest of her things were dropped off by a House Elf that she had befriended. The same with his things being brought to him. The time she had dragged him into the tub had been close to testing and he had been stressed over something she knew he knew well enough. So she had asked him to help her pile her hair up, and she had turned just enough to tangle her fingers in his robe and yank him into the tub with her. Yes she was taking a chance on getting them caught and yes. it was improper but it didn't matter and she had managed to do what she had intended the whole time. Distract him from work so he didn't gain a miagraine from it all. So he smelled like Lily's after that. He had gotten her back by making her blush when he volenteered that if she'd asked he'd have joined her. So yes, if her HEad of House had caught them at that, she would have had a second litter. Since she'd practically had kittens with just Lily in the tub.

She knew that he would lash out at anyone daring to get to close. If he reach out and patted someone that was different. Her affection was usually open and to the point. She tended to hug him. He could sense her there in the same way he knew if he lurked in the park long enough she would be there with him as well. Within the next ten minutes if she could get away. It came from him being safe with her holding him. At least that was Lily's opinion on it all. They had an intimacy between them that had been forged over years."Yes, transfigure me a umbrella." she answered with a chuckle. "I don't dare do any transfigurations when I am umm..this...tipsy." she managed. "Though I do think that I could pull it off, I am just not sure how useful an umbrella it would turn out to be." laughter in her tone told him she was amused by some idea in her head. Lily only shook her bangs from her eyes slightly. She never minded his fingers in her hair. To her it was how she knew he was near her and in thought as well. It was a comfort for him to wrap the red strands around his fingers, to gently touch the silken locks between his fingers, she was fine with that too. Merlin knew he'd helped her with it enough. "Well you may concider yourself my favorite warm spot ." she whispered "I miss you when I am away." Severus was warm as she leaned against him and she knew she had to have dozed a little bit when he spoke about reading her mind. "In this instance it wouldn't matter if you got in anyways, I am so warm and fuzzy." she said yawning slightly. "So anyone with mean thoughts would probly get something akin to bright sparklies and unicorns from my thoughts at the moment." a smirk in her tone. Lily didn't even shift slightly when conversation turned to potions her memory was decent and she could recall the method right off the top of her head. "Well many people don't think on that I don't believe since you know a werewolf is a supernatural creature." she considered "It might have the same weakness's as say a dog or a wolf, its worth looking into." she was of a mind that between them they could do something much better than what the original maker did with the concept and make it more bearable for the target. Most people given the Ministry's stand on Werewolves, didn't much care it seemed someone should. Especially when the someone she was most worried about was a tweleve year old little girl, of her best girl friend.

"You misunderstand, its not just [how I feel right now." she told him leaning back slightly to meet his eyes. "Its how I have felt for years, I just have the common sense under most circumstances to not speak on it." she said pointedly. "Though...thats because I can reserve myself and keep it locked away, keep it closed inside. Its becoming so much harder to do that, and continue to do that." she whispered softly. "I asked for an honest opinion, so what ever that opinion might be, is what I want." she said her fingers gently brushing the back of his neck reassuring herself he was there. ""Of course I would be there for my children, I would never not be." her tone dropping softly. "Believe it or not being brave does not make on immune to fear, and I am not making any choice lightly, being drunk just made me actually speak and say something on the subject." she said to him "I am not even drunk anymore as much as I am a touchy tipsy..." she returned to nestling herself against him her eyes half closed. "I know I have your support Sevvie, and that means alot to me it really does." her hair was almost dry and she was fairly warm. "I just want..to feel safe, and reguardless of what you do and how dangerous it may be. The safest I've felt is with you."







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[x]♥Status♥Finished
[x]♥Words♥3728
[x]♥Tags♥ Sevvie
[x]♥Notes♥ nope ^^
[x]♥Music♥ Several Song O.O
[x]♥Clothing♥ One of Sevvie's swishy robes.

[Severus Snape]

WALK BLINDLY TO THE LIGHT
and reach out for his hand .

don't ask any questions
AND DON"T TRY TO UNDERSTAND

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Severus did not altogether know what he would amount to in terms of being a father if he had more of an opportunity. He had not had a close relationship with his own father and love, or rather signs of love, Severus did not think that Eileen didn’t love him for a moment, had been sporadic from his mother. There was also what he had done and what his role would cause him to do in the future, though as Lily had said, the time he saw a Death Eater, not Severus Snape in the mirror was the time to get out of the whole thing. As it was, he did what he could, that was all he could do and had done from the moment he had received the patronus telling him that Lily was in labour. He would have mildly disapproved of Lily being up and about, and he was sure the muggle midwife had, but he knew Lily and he knew it would be no other way with her. He had done as directed by the women, who knew infinitely more on the processes of childbirth than he. He was not often one to take direction but then in his fields, as he was normally dealing with, he was unsurpassed, and had the brains to recognise that simply doing his own thing may be more hindrance than help. Nox was a wonderful loyal beautiful bird. He was also bird brained, as is a risk with birds, and could be accused of being a little addled. Especially since the only person he could reliably find was Severus. Lilith had been stubborn, as children occasionally were, and Severus had dealt with classes full of them for a fair few years. He was also a believer in making medicines taste as good as he could where they were genuinely needed and as foul as possible for any other purpose. So when he and Lily began listing ingredients, it had only been a matter of time before peanut butter with crayons didn’t outweigh the very possible chance of gagging were such a potion made.

Severus had never really quite had the confidence that he needed to see in himself what the only people who really mattered could see and took for granted. The thing was that Lucius had made things bearable for him in the common room, he had encouraged others to help him feel involved and he had caught himself speaking as they did more than once. He recognised the tactic, it was still used, taking those who could be wooed to the Dark Lord’s service and giving them a better home than they had ever had, he was expected to give the names of students that could be achieved with, and he did what he safely could to counteract it, keeping one child in during the Hogsmead trip and tipping off a member of the Order that the child could do with watching where there was no ready excuse to do otherwise. Some could not be helped, but then they were most often on their way with very little help in any case. It had hurt Severus more than he would admit even to himself to lose Lily. It was he who had broken that bond, seven or eight years torn apart in an instant. It had been a wakeup call, but not one he had known immediately how to deal with. The odds were that he would have lost his sense of identity or died trying to get out by now if left to his own devices with the Death Eaters, she had saved him again and they could only look to the now. Severus didn’t altogether hate the muggle world, but it would be true to say that it did not hold too many good memories for him. His mother may not have been the best mother to him all the time, but as he grew up he had learned more and more what she had given up, and what she went through on a daily basis. It was a shame, he had cried after his mother’s funeral, when it were just he and Lily, he didn’t have to pretend to hold tears back, tears that were not there, when his father died. Lily had been the only one that he could really go to when things had got as they had in his life, he had been very close to the brink, of losing himself or his life. Sorry was just a word, and he had little right to reach out for her but what he had said in his letter had needed saying for a long time, when he knew, and Lily knew that he knew, just what he had done. Things had just happened since. ‘Things just happened’ was really the best phrase for them. Severus knew that Lily was married, it didn’t matter who ti, she was married and he had defended her when her character had been brought into question in the past. But there were some bonds that could not be denied and theirs was one of them. There had been no conscious buildup, no pushing from either of them, but also no regrets when things had gone as they had. It had been natural, they had been close and had all but named their relationship in their actions, and as they had been built from their childhood, the foundations had acted as the root to a tree that on all outward appearances had died, but inside waited only to live again.

Severus had not been mellowed and really, he could not afford to mellow as long as he played the role he did. He could not show his emotions, such allowed a crack to pry open into his thoughts, and so that cold aura was an extra barrier, something that was more or less impenetrable and stopped people trying when they had experienced it for long enough. He also had a certain haughtiness that went with it when one insinuated that his loyalties did not lie with them, but again that was what happened when one had the trust of the ringleaders and the trust of very few others. What he had done to James had been a warning shot, and that in itself had been a gift. Lily knew just what that spell could do, he had first used it when a minotaur had charged Lily, and had been as surprised as quietly satisfied when it had cleanly removed the horn. Anyone using the spell without his level of control would open up cuts on the body of their victim, cuts that they could not deal with, he had taught Lily and Lily alone the curse and countercurse because of just how dangerous it was. He was alone in that war with James, looking back he had not really belonged to the group that would go on to be Death Eaters as he had then thought. They were aristocratic, his mother had lost the support of her family, and such told. Severus was no one’s victim, that much was to be sure and he did what he could to inconvenience an attacker, with langlock and levicorpus, when the latter had been turned on him…James had been lucky to get that warning. The shape of the locket had been no accident, it had told Lily that she had his heart, and that she always would. They had more or less told each other since that the other was the only one that could break their heart. Anyone threatening Lily would find that the rumours that he had no emotion were wrong. He was protective of her, as the Professors had found out, and while he was not possessive, it was sure that he would defend her. Even if they had still not been talking he would have been at her parents’ funeral, for them as much as for her. He did not know for certain if it was a Death Eater attack, no one had told him, but the evidence leaned towards it and if he could get proof as to who and get away with doing something about it, he would. He had not been there for that though, and it had been Lily’s own sister he had needed to protect her from. Petunia had told Lily that a funeral was for normal people, not freaks. Severus had quietly, but quite scornfully, remarked that he was surprised they let carrion birds into a service. He could have said more, but Lily needed him more than Petunia needed putting down, and she also didn’t need to be thrown out. He had not encouraged Lily’s emotions towards him, he had not flirted or made himself available any more than a friend ought, he was a gentleman in that respect, but things were as they were. He nodded, “I know.” He squeezed her hand, she needed to do what was right for her, and she knew that he accepted that. He schooled his expression into one of mild disapproval, though his eyes, usually so void of emotion, showed the lie in that, “Well I suppose I had better keep warm drinks ready if it rains and you come to visit.”

It may have seemed odd that the two had chosen a bathroom to study, and Severus would certainly be viewed as being in the wrong given that it was a girl’s bathroom, but it had been a place where they were, usually, undisturbed if one didn’t mind Myrtle’s company, and he had taken to talking to the ghost as much as Lily had, it had very quickly become their place. He averted his eyes when Lily changed. Yes, they had been in the water together, as children, but that was something different when they had aged Lily had said that it was a shame the bubbles didn’t stay there and that was as good as a challenge given their penchant for both potions and charms. To Severus, books were there to be read, not petted. This was quite possibly the reason that he didn’t get on with his own book at all, but Lily’s was used to tenderness and was quick to show its displeasure when it was just manhandled by an insolent boy. That had been what had gotten them caught, and Severus had been quite willing to accept being docked in house points and a detention, they would have been inconvenient, but he could see the Professors’ point of view. It was when Lily’s character had been brought into question by her own Head of House, who would have known her better, that Severus had started to seethe and at the first sign of Lily being upset, had leaned forward and interjected himself into the whole thing, quite unnerving Professor McGonagall in his quiet, but fierce, defence of her. Severus knew the line to stop at, and would have, but he would still have fumed had Lily not defused that somewhat. If Professor McGonagall had aimed to discourage them spending time together, she had failed somewhat spectacularly given that they had affirmed in that night that there was something more than a brother and sister relationship. Severus being that protective of Lily had not gone unnoticed by Dumbledore, it was that that had brought about Lily being the go between in this little war really, and Severus had to wonder if Dumbledore always knew that it would be this way, even when he had joined the Death Eaters. Severus had been completely caught by surprise being dragged into the tub, he had still had his mind on work at the time or he might have seen it coming, but he had not minded and had not bothered to respond to comments that he smelled of lilies the next day, so to say that they had not been discouraged from using their favoured haunts, risk of litters or no, might have been putting it as lightly as saying snowflakes are in danger of being no more in a lit fireplace.

Severus lashed out at people, it came with being as paranoid as he had to be given his double role. But he knew when it was Lily about and his reflexes just didn’t come into play. He had always felt safe around her, and sheltered, that was something that not even someone with polyjuice potion could not pull off, the bond that had been grown over such a period of time. He nodded as she chuckled, “Well yes, an umbrella might do the trick, and I am sure that even drunk, you would do just fine, but I shall make one in any case just to be on the safe side.” There was a tenderness as he stroked her hair, it was not a claim of possession, it never could be something like that, it was a shared moment and one that made them feel safe, that affirmed that they were there and there for each other. He did smile as she called him her favourite warm spot, “You know you don’t need to ask.” He missed her just as much when she was away, as much as he understood why she had to be, though if anything it made him cherish the time they spent together all the more. He gave a dry smile, “I know several people who should be glad they’re not trying then.” He half pondered if the imagery that Lily had described could make Nikolas’ head explode, though he pushed that thought aside given that he and Lily didn’t spend an abundance of time together to be taking his mind away from her. He nodded, “The wolf is what comes out when one has shifted, however, and I think you’re right in that it may make all the difference. We can only do what we can and see how it goes, given that between us we can ensure it’s not harmful before allowing anyone to drink it.” Severus knew how dangerous werewolves could be, but then not all of them were like Greyback and once he did think about how the potion could be bettered, he and Lily were sure to come up with ideas.

He met her eyes and again allowed her to speak, putting some thought into it as he stroked her hand with his thumb before speaking himself, “If you want my honest opinion, I don’t think that James values you, nor anything good in his life. I would admit that part of that might well be our school years speaking and should not be the sole cause of any decision. As I say, Harry, Charlie, Lilith and yourself need to be at the forefront of your mind, but yes, if you feel that you have moved on, then he needs to have the same opportunity.” He sighed, there really were no easy answers, though he nodded at her comment over fear, holding her as she nestled into him once more, “Bravery is not never feeling fear, that is closer to stupidity, bravery is acknowledging fear and doing what is right anyway. I shall always be here for you, and that is not going to change whatever happens, but what you do next needs more than one night to decide.” He could tell that Lily was half asleep and could do with bed, though he was happy enough to just stand there and hold her as much as anything else.

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[/color] ![/b] Two thousand, eight hundred and fifty nine
tag ! Lily
song ! More than a couple
[green]notes[/green] ! My longest here
other ! So yeah, novella well underway

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[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

♥Lily{Ann}Evans-Potter♥

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Now I don't hardy know her[/color]
but I think I could love her
Crimson & Clover[/color]
I wish wish she'd come walking over.
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It

It was of Lily's opinion that he would make a fine father he never got a chance to be with Lilith when she was little.Not as much as she would have liked. Still it was a secret needing keeping and that was the only reason Lily didn't insist she knew he was right. The children all the children had to come first. His own father was the blue print of how not to treat a child. Still Lily had hopes for having other children she wanted at least one more maybe two.It had pleased her that Eileen had accepted her and didn't look down her nose at her. Lily had been concerned that her blood would matter to the woman. She had given up everything to be with a Muggle man who had treated her worse than Lily thought anyone deserved to be treated. The night she had gone to him when he'd sent her that letter had been the night she had stepped in front of the full length mirror with him. She had motioned to it and asked him just what he saw when he looked in that mirror. Did he see Severus or did he see a Death Eater. She had told him she still saw the little boy who twirled her hair in his fingers when in thought on those summer days, the same little boy who'd pushed her on the swing, and taught her everything she'd known about the Magical World. That she saw the same boy who'd held her hand in the movies when she had been afraid, and later the same boy who was glad she'd brought wolvesbane.She saw someone who had to understand he was changing in a way he didn't want to, to spill his heart out like that. That she saw the same boy he'd always been grown into the man he was. That she saw someone who confessed to needing her and she would always be there for.That if he should look in the mirror and see just a Death Eater it was time for him to get out completely.Lily still stood by that, and she meant it too. She wouldn't loose her Prince with out a fight. She couldn't say that to him at that point but she did wear the locket, something she still wore and rarely removed.

Nothing about Lilith's birth had been usual. Normally a mother would go to either a hospital that was something that Lily refused to set a foot in after the loss of her parents. Understandable really. She didn't go to the healers at Saint Mungo's either. Not because she didn't like the place but rather because she was happy having the baby at home. She believed in home delieveries it was where she'd had Harry and Charlie. She just happened to be in Muggle London when she went into Labour. Lilith had been early from what Lily had thought she was going to be. She had been to easily tired to take her children trick or treating but rather choose to visit with Eileen in Spinners End, before she had passed. Since it gave Lily something of a way to feel like she had her mother near. She had handed out candy there. Watching little ghosts and goblins and witches with no magic just dreams of candy. It was Lily's second favorite holiday. Yule was her favorite.For the snow and the unity and seeing the delight at gifts given. She knew Sev was an assertive person and didn't like having to take directions from anyone so when the woman had been moving around he'd wisely stayed out of the way. Lily just had him wrap his arms around her and hold her close Lily had rather not break his fingers.Potions to fix that or not. It had been pleasing to curl up and sleep with both of them when it was all said and done. Lilith had been so tiny. Than again Lily herself was petite too. She still thought it was the best Halloween to date. Maybe it was because Lily was so motherly that she adopted Nox, he could have gone into a bad house and been abused. Lily had been given to a hobby Harry would eventually pick up, freeing House Elves. The fact that Lilith was a handful at times wasn't missed on Lily, it was the Gryffindor spirit though she could say the girl had Slytherin traits too. So too did Lily honestly. The two of them listing off the poitions ingrediants had certainly helped to draw her out.

it was the very tactics that had caused him to insult her to the point where she'd been so badly hurt. She knew he didn't mean it once she had time to dwell on it and to think about it. She had been called nasty names before but because it was him it hurt. When he had been the one person she had trusted and had asked if her blood mattered and he'd told her no. Maybe it was because they were too close at that time. For either of there good. Than suddenly it was like a sundering and it broke her heart. She knew what was expected to be done, he'd told her and she would work with him on it. She'd give out detentions too if it meant saving students. Three years had been pleanty enough time for her to heal. Even if she had married Potter but that was because she thought that maybe she could be happy with someone who clearly wanted her. She would have a family. She had rushed into it. She regretted it now but there was little to be done for it. Her children had to come first as he had pointed out. It was one of the sacrifices they made together. She didn't think that she saved him if anything they saved each other.Still when it came down to it lily owed Lucius for what he had done. He would eventually get his and she'd certainly see to it. See one could look at Lily and see why the doe was what was seen. Graceful, sleek motherly. The doe was also still a lioness and she would remember. Lily had been greatful for the fact that Eileen had at least gotten to meet little Lilith and hold at least one grandchild before her passing. She had been with him at the funerals just as he had come to her parents. At least her parents had gone together. Luck might have been with Eileen to that she passed before Tobias. Not that the two had even been speaking to Lily's knowledge. He had been one of those guys that made her uncomfortable to be a witch. Still he'd never told her to go away or to stay away form his son. Truth probly was he didn't care. Still Lily had been there to hold his hand through that too. It was his mother that hurt the worse to loose. It was like loosing another mother all over again. She had held him and just let him cry. There were no words of comfort for a loss like that. merely actions and comfort.if there was such thing as a soul mate that was what Lily was to him. He was right that it wouldn't have mattered who she was married to that there bond was deeper than that.They had been sweethearts since they were small. It could have faded into a sibling relationship but it didn't. Given time it had grown into something that had ensnared them both. As sure as anyone of those potions he could brew but far more powerful because the effects were natural and came from within. Old bark often fell off after weathering a storm stronger for it.

She knew she was a chink in his armor and she knew to school her thoughts when needed. No one would really get through Lily's mind because she wouldn't allow it. When she was concious her thoughts were usually on so many things it was hard to tell which one was which. Lily had not learned how to read other's thoughts she hadn't felt that was as important as protecting the ones that they shared. She had not even had time to blink before the spell had knocked over the Minotaur. Who looked as surprised as the two of them. A half grown girl and a tall pale boy. Something that shouldn't have had the kick they did.The loss of a horn had totally unaligned the creature too. It had taught Lily to put force behind her shields as well since the force of the creature impacting with it had knocked her back and she'd skinned her hands.She'd certainly been glad for his nearness and for his arms around her that had shaken her. Nothing thus far even in dueling had gotten through her shield. The thing had, had a mad brute strength. She didn't dwell on the what if her shield hadn't been strong enough that wasn't something she wanted to think on. Still leaned against him she'd told him she thought that he'd certainly mastered the spell at that point. Since it had not killed the beast just severed it's horn and cleanly so. It had probly been a closer call than Lily and her Gryffindor nature had realized.She had stayed out of the war that wasn't often seen between the two unless it occured near her. She knew they couldn't stand each other. She had warned James not to pick at him because she had seen what Severus was capable of when he felt --fear ? concern , anger ? She didn't know for sure what it was only that she was greatful for it with the minotaur and didn't think a person really would want to be on the reciving end of that spell. It was a boon James had a face to look in the mirror with, with the power of the spell. Once thing were said they could not be unsaid and Severus had mentioned quiet a bit in his letter making her think about her own heart. She had chosen to wear it even with knowing what it meant. She sealed it with magics that most Curse Breakers couldn't get through. Mostly because it was special to her. He was special to her. She resumed her friendship with him and again it grew just as quickly as it had before over the same amount of years bringing them back to the point where they had left off. Lily didn't hide her emotions away often, he knew she loved him. It was as complicated and as simple as that. She understood that Severus was quietly intense where she was concerned where he might not give away the fact he was furious or seething she could tell. Mainly because it was never on his own account but hers.Lily had owled him one of the few time Nox found him immediately. Usually if Lily was under alot of stress the bird got to him fast. It was only natural he had become her best friend once again and she felt so small being in the huge Muggle Hospital. Petunia had already been to see there parents and had to get home to make sure her husband and son were taken care of. Lily had friends who'd look after her's the kids never wanted for anything anyways. Neither of them could tell her anything they had never regain conciousness that whole turn of things was sort of a blur to Lily, she didn't remember how she had gotten anywhere from the hospital. She had fairly clung to Severus and than Eileen in Spinner End. The whole castatrophe with Petunia at the Viewing had made her sad. Lucky for Petunia since Lily had been positively shattered by the loss of her beloved parents. She might have done something she'd regret luckily Severua had been there again to keep the situation underhand and defended her again. To someone she should never need a defense for. It would have been a time to reach out to her sister but instead her sister pushed her furthur away. It had been during that whole ordeal that there renewed friendship fell over the line into lovers. Neither had sought it, she had certainly not flirted she was hurting and she needed to be near someone who she knew loved her and understood her. Once it had passed to that point it was what it was and she wouldn't regret and wouldn't look back. They had simply needed each other. She knew he was sad to, Rose and Harold had been there for him too. There would be no blame games between them. Nothing would have happened they hadn't agreed on, even if it was more actions than words as with the defination of there relationship after the bathroom. Even now the lights that twinkled in his eyes told her the truth behind the words. She brushed her fingers along his cheek tenderly. "I don't think you'll need to worry of me coming to you in this condition again...I don't drink often or this much but..Cora." Lily shook her head. She couldn't do anything for Cora that the former Ravenclaw woman wouldn't let her do for her. "I just hope she got home to Remus as safely I have gotten home to you." she smiled faintly it was true a house did not make a home. The heart did.

What could really be called odd between the two of them, they talked to ghosts on a regular bases and they were not in there to do anything more than homework. It had been there place well Myrtles first and she and Sev had been in there often enough testing potions outlines that they had tore apart and redone. To see how well it would turn out. She knew he averted his gaze when she changed. Still she wasn't shy about it there was nothing wrong with the physical form in her opinion. Though she respected his nobility in that. No boys she knew would do that outside of him. Maybe Remus but he was a special case. The bubble potion had been something of a wistful spur of the moment thing. Though soon they actually had a working product. Lily liked how well it worked. A potion to create the bubbles and a charm to dismiss them. His argument about being grown now didn't make any sense to Lily, she had shrugged at him and looked mildly amused. Nothing had changed between them other than growing older. Still she wouldn't press him.Her affections for the book was loving and she shared it with his book to an extent. She was really happy that neither her book nor his had mauled him to bad. The whole ordeal with the Heads of House and the Headmaster had made Lily more aware. The two of them sharing the bench in Dumbledores office while there heads of House talked and Dumbledore listened. They two of them gave the same account on all details. Though she could tell how irritated he was getting by her Head of Houses questions. He had gotten quiet out of sorts. Lily had slipped her arms around him and gently shhhed him. She could have cared less at that point what anyone thought he was working himself up. Dumbledore had been watching there interaction shrewdly almost. Though Minerva had been flustered by the question and Slughorn amused clearly. Lily had held his hand until they were parted giving it a light squeeze. Her Head of House simply didn't know what to do with her. She had managed by bringing there attention to it defined something that Lily and Severus had only suspected. She suspected that Dumbledore knew she would be the turning point in Severus's life wither she accepted him or turned him away. There closeness was always watched she thought not in a harmful mean manner though. Lily had not hidden her affection for Severus in school she had even gotten on with some of the Slytherin. There bond made it natural that she'd be the go between. She did that with out complaint because it allowed her to add extra protection to his already conciderable ones. Lily had to stiffle laughter when she pulled him into the tub with her. Like she did to that day, she was able to ignore the look she was flashed for him having his clothes on. She had merrily pointed out he could just take them off. She doubted he was amused by her words.They had just become more sneaky meeting together as often as they could manage.

She knew she had a singular ability to topple him over if she caught him by surprise. It also helped if she slipped in late at night or early morning to curl up next to him so as to not disturb his sleep at that point. There was a closeness between them no one could duplicate. There was a level of intmacy that came with it. Some things were harder to mimic a touch, a caress the feelings behind them. Since for them a passing touch might be all they could manage.Like him she felt sheltered and protected."I don't think I am going out again tonight " she murmured She knew she was always welcome there. They way his fingers were in her hair told her that much the fact he was comforting her as well."I know I don't but its still the right thing to do." she murmured. Lily knew Nick in school they had talked off and on but nothing had really ever come of it because she was with Severus at the point. She was the girl that had gotten away. Lily hadn't quiet seen it that way. She'd liked him well enough than. Hadn't seen him since. She stiffled a giggle against the front of his robe. "I doubt fuzzy thought could destroy the Dark Lord Sev." she whispered when they were under control. Who needed mind reading to know what he was amused by. "Yes, of course ." she said and hesitated. "What about a secondary potion ?" she murmured as she disliked Grayback he hurt babies, and if he wasn't so mangy ridden she would have been more than happy to skin him. Lily was fairly sure he was the one creature that she'd not hesitate to use Sectumsempra on and it would likely have a devestating effect. Mainly because there was nothing the red head hated more than something so big and powerful that preyed on children.

"I don't want to make excuses for him but the ongoing War is effecting him badly too." she said with a shake of her head. "I won't argue that point though." she shrugged her shoulders weakly. The gentle brushing of his thumb on her hand gave her warm tingles."I think its for the best we've been doing this for almost nine years, I think its not a phase, and it isn't going to pass, I think were too entwined with each other,not just heart...but soul as well." she whispered very softly. "I'd like more children...at least one more before I feel too old." she murmured. Though she smiled as she said it. She knew she was young still but War made you feel so much older. "I don't want to have to go through what we did with Lilith, who's getting alot smarter and I suspect, she suspects but is to polite to ask." she added with a sigh. "I won't make any sudden choices with out telling you." she promised. 'I just feel I guess like he wants me but he doesn't need me." she said after a few moments of silence."Yes, I understand that I am still afraid of Dementors you know." she whispered. "I think Harry inherited my fear when I explained things to him." she murmured. He was holding her and she closed her eyes allowing the warmth between them to comfort her and her fingers lightly brushed the softness of his robe. She was still fine on her feet at the moment even sleepy. "So, other than strange woman finding you late at night, how are you?" she inquired.

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[x]♥Status♥Finished
[x]♥Words♥3730
[x]♥Tags♥ Severus
[x]♥Notes♥Adding to the Novel.
[x]♥Music♥ Come to my Window-Melissa Etheridge. Rhiannion -Fleetwood Mac
[x]♥Clothing♥ One of the robes.

[Severus Snape]

WALK BLINDLY TO THE LIGHT
and reach out for his hand .

don't ask any questions
AND DON"T TRY TO UNDERSTAND

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Severus did want to be a father to Lilith, it was natural that even with the concern he had that he didn’t know how to be one given he had not had the best possible example, that he would want to be close to his daughter. But he was satisfied that he and Lily knew at the moment, that Lilith would find out when she was ready to. He had never been the kind that could say you tell James or I do, that was something that he would never, could never, do to Lily. That his mother had accepted Lily, whatever blood she was, had shaped Severus to some degree, though he would likely have been friends with her in protest if Eileen had disapproved being as he had not had the best feelings towards her when he was younger, it had made their bond the stronger for it. There had been conflict due and around that relationship, but then the targets had actually deserved the ways in which they had dealt with it. Severus had seen the boy that had always been there when he had looked into the mirror, but that boy had been hiding and hurt, Severus didn’t know how much longer he could have kept him without Lily’s help or, frankly, how much longer he would have lived. They had put him together again, the pair of them. He knew that Lily wouldn’t lose him without a fight, and they both had always fought for the other, however much she couldn’t say it.

Severus knew well that Lily would not step foot inside a hospital and he understood why, given her parents. He had not been surprised to find that Lily had been giving out Halloween candy before her contractions had started, what had surprised him was that she still was handing out candy when her contractions had started, and he fussed at her for it with very limited success. He had been more than happy to hold Lily through it, even if he would have quite happily risked breaking his fingers if she wanted her hand holding. It had been something quite special, especially after a turbulent time, for the three of them to curl up and sleep once everything was done. Severus had known that Nox was going to be trouble to a degree as soon as he had seen him, but Lily had taken to him so easily he would not have dreamed of saying anything against him, and he had quite grown to like the owl even if he sometimes got someone else’s letter. Lilith had indeed shown Slytherin qualities taking the key to the closet and locking herself in with the crayons and peanut butter, no less Slytherin was the means that Severus and Lily had used to get her out. Severus had gone on to mix that potion, and knew how vile it was testing it on himself. He had later used it on a student that had convinced an older sibling that lived in Hogsmead to supply him with firewhiskey, he had become drunk on it and Severus had had no qualms in dosing him with the potion. It was quite the de-tox potion, it had got rid of the firewhiskey, and the contents of the student’s stomach. That student had then had housepoints docked and a detention given for breaking school rules, being intoxicated on school property, enticing someone to break school rules in supplying him with the drink, sharing the firewhiskey with other students and last, but not least, throwing up on Severus’ carpet.

There had been a perfectly good sink.

Severus could never mean to hurt Lily, but the two of them had eventually hurt each other in the only way they could. They could have patched things up quite quickly given chance, but the Death Eaters had not taken well to any possibility of losing the Dark Wizard they had been courting since the first night he had spent in the common room. He could not have done what he was doing for the Death Eaters, putting children on the ill fated path that had sucked him in, without Lily’s help and knowing that they had a chance of also rescuing the child from that path. It made it hurt no less that the children that became Death Eaters would likely have done so without his help, it was still another mother’s child who the Death Eaters had had no right to twist to their uses. Severus did not blame Lucius for what he himself had done. He knew well enough that Lucius had started him on that path but he took the major responsibility as his own. Still, he would not begrudge Lily seeing to him, however much he knew he would be expected to favour his son, Lucius having been seen to have made things easier for him in the common room. He would do what was necessary, as he did in all things now, he didn’t have to like it. He was a good enough liar he could lie under veritiserum, and was singular in that ability, no one but very likely Lily would be the wiser. That Eileen had gotten to see her granddaughter had been important to Severus, given that he knew she had always wanted he and Lily to be together, and to have a granddaughter to fuss over and know that knowledge would be passed on. His father…Severus had not spoken to him for a while before walking the path he did, he did not see reason to speak to him more than for courtesy’s sake, that being more than he deserved, if he didn’t have to now. He would certainly have never left Lilith alone with him. He knew that it must have hurt Lily as much, Eileen passing, but it was one of the few occasions he could not put her before himself, could not be the one to comfort rather than to need comfort. Their relationship could well have become a sibling relationship, they would likely have settled for that, if Lily were entirely happy, if things had not happened of their own accord, Severus could have lived with that. That things were as they were though, he would not and could not find complaint in it. There was no love potion that could replicate the bond in this case, the muggle way truly was the magic way, and their relationship had become all the stronger for having weathered the storm.

Lily was indeed a chink in Severus’ armour, though not one that he regretted. That he would teach her occlumency was a given, he was the most proficient practitioner of it, though it was a constant state of discipline that gave him his headaches. It was perhaps not quite good for him, as necessary as it was. He would only drop it the day the Dark Lord would fall if that happened in his lifetime. Having ones thoughts on so many things to obfuscate everything else was a valid tactic, it was not one that Severus could trust to full time though, so his mind was simply a blank of everything but that which he wanted to be there. The minotaur had every right to be confused, it should not have been hurt, there was no way looking at those who did the damage that he could have guessed it. Severus would have tried to take Lily’s thoughts away from what ifs and he had blinked when Lily had said he had mastered the spell, it seemed random next to just about anything else that could be said. Severus could have killed the minotaur, he could have lopped off bodyparts one by one, he was vindictive yes, but not cold, he did damage when there was fire behind it. James had not heeded Lily’s warnings, so Severus had seen fit to give him one the very next time James had attempted to use one of his own spells against him. Severus had spoken the curse at the minotaur, but had never put voice to it in the presence of others, it was something, a weapon and a dangerous one, that could not be turned against him. It was certainly a powerful spell, and it said a lot of Severus’ control that James still had a face rather than a mass of scar tissue that would never fade given that it was cursed damage. He would lash out, he was that kind of person, but it said a lot of his actual character that a death by his own wand had all but torn him apart from the inside out. Severus knew that Lily loved him, he had the security about that that he had lacked when he was a student, it was how their relationship had survived given that she was married to another, that he knew that things were as they must be and that they would change when it was right for them to, as ever with them, without it being pushed. And on the flip side, Lily was the one person that Severus could not lie to or hide anything from. Severus could do nothing more at the hospital than be the4re for her and hold her. Even if they had still not been speaking, he would have gone to her parents’ funeral, and would have defended her from Petunia, because he would have had every right to be there, there had been a time when they were closer to him than his mother. It was for Harold and Rose that he did not hex Petunia, she was still their daughter, it was just a shame that she had forgotten that Lily was as well. Lily had also needed him more than Petunia had needed hexing, she would get hers and he would not have to be the one to bring it to her. Severus was there to comfort Lily in any way he could, he had not realised when they fell over the line into lovers, he had spoken out in defence of Lily’s character and would not have pushed that on her for anything, but he was no more inclined than she to look back with regret. His eyes were more often than not where he let his emotions show around Lily, though contrary to popular belief, he had not forgotten how to smile, and Lily knew that whatever look he gave her, and whatever words he used, she would see no harm from him, stern words were only very rarely not in jest. He put his hand on hers as she stroked his cheek, his other stroking her back, “I know you don’t, and if there is anything to be done, we can do it once you have recovered.” He frowned in thought as she spoke of Cora, though a smile did make it to his eyes when she said that home was with him, “I could send Othello to see how she is with a note from you if she and Remus all but know about us anyway, if you like. I wouldn’t send Nox out in this weather even if he were…” He did not quite finish his sentence before the owl in question burst in through the window and Severus had to let go of Lily to catch him before the soaked bird did himself any harm. Severus scratched the owl as Nox buried himself within his robes, casting a light heat spell to dry the bird a little to calm him down, “Ah, he’s here.” Severus finally managed to show Nox to a perch to say hello to Othello who promptly rolled his eyes at him, quite possibly ashamed to be an owl.

Severus had not had an issue with working in a girls’ bathroom, it was quiet and he quite got along with Myrtle, so it had only been natural that he would be at ease there, especially as they could test their potions. Severus loved and respected Lily, he did not lust after her, he did not need to see her naked. There was nothing wrong with her physical form, but he would not take advantage of being near it unclothed. On one bad day, Lily had asked if she were hideous to look at or something given he had averted his eyes. Severus had blinked and then cuddled her, she being in the tub or no, and reassured her that she knew full well that he could never think that so. Their bubblebath potion had been quite successful, though it had caused trouble when someone had taken it without asking and had needed rescuing, if only because Lily wanted her bubblebath back. Severus had grown more and more annoyed as time went on at Lily’s head of House, who should have known her own student far better than she was letting on. It had not been meant as a gesture to stick up for her, the still hadn’t really known that they were sweethearts until after that point. He had seethed for a good while before speaking up, and was getting to be out of sorts. He knew the point at which he should stop, and had not gone past it in his opinion, but he had very definitely made his point. Severus had returned the squeeze on his hand and had been quite happy to take whatever trouble came from the whole issue. He did a lot of Lily’s extra homework for her given that she was doing his Care of Magical Creatures, he simply did not trust his book or hers anymore. It had been a defining moment for them, defending Lily had come as naturally as breathing and it was that that had brought their bond a step forward. Severus had blushed just a little when Lily had said that he could have simply taken his clothes off when in the tub before simply sitting in there with his clothes still on and cuddling next to her until she was ready to get out. It was lucky that that was not the night they had been caught in the bathroom together to be sure.

Lily was able to topple Severus over because, very simply, his reflexes did not work around her. It was why there was no polyjuice potion that could make him believe that someone else was Lily, that affect that she had on him could not be duplicated. Not that Severus ever complained about being tumbled, if he had been in a mood he would give her a look but there was never anything behind it other than the occasional amusement when he had most needed it. Severus held Lily close to him, stroking her hair, “No, it would be best for you to rest and I am not going to be going anywhere.” Lily was right that it was always best not to assume that she was welcome, it was just that with Severus, she always would be. Even if they had a rare argument, such was not one they would allow to linger. He stifled a laugh of his own, “As with all theories, there is no definite answer, though yes this is one that should perhaps not be tested.” He nodded over the secondary potion, “That can be done.” He didn’t give pleasant doses to those that had brought their affliction on themselves, or those in this case that used it to harm others. Severus would be more measured if he used Sectumsempra, though he would likely still skin Fenrir is the Death Eaters were not supposed to be working with him. The best he could do was to keep an eye out for any child he could save without being noticed.

“The war is tough on everyone and will never be an excuse, it is a simple fact.” He did not like James in the least, but he was more mature about it, and would not manipulate Lily into any decision, it had to be hers whatever she decided. He could only comfort her, make her feel safe, “It was never going to be a phase, no. And I don’t see it ending any time soon, so we must do what is the best for all involved.” He nodded again, “Soulmates by those words, and I would believe it.” Nothing else could have healed the wounds they had done each other so completely. A smile touched his lips, “You’re nowhere near too old. Though I could not say that I am opposed to the idea either.” Such would happen if and when it were meant to, something that special would neither be forced nor denied. “She is smart, yes, and we have made preparations for that if she needs to go looking. Whatever happens, we shall deal with it as a family when it comes.” He gently directed her towards the bed, knowing that she could use some sleep, given that when she slept he knew where and when more often than not, “I could not think to second guess him. I always thought that you were the one he couldn’t have, Demeter to his Rum Tum Tugger, but I don’t doubt that there is love there. Whether he loves you, or is in love with you, that is harder to distinguish.” He smiled, “Well I’m not going to let them get you. Like the ‘monsters’ under Lilith’s bed they’d have to get through me first.” He shrugged, supporting Lily if she needed it, “Despite, or perhaps because of, strange women in my room, or this particular strange woman at least, I am fine. I’ve burned the midnight oil a little too frequently perhaps, but I am well besides that.” He squeezed her hand, “Other than being quite intoxicated, how have you and the children been?”

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[/color] ![/b] Two thousand, nine hundred and seventy five
tag ! Lily
song ! Bring me to life – Katherine Jenkins
[green]notes[/green] ! Darn students throwing up on his carpet
other ! And no pointing out he gave said student the potion that did it

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[Lily Ann Evans-Potter]

But nothings greater than the rush,

[/COLOR][/FONT]
- - - - - - - THAT COMES WITH YOUR EMBRACE.[/size][/color]
AND IN THIS WORLD OF LONELINESS I SEE YOUR FACE
yet everyone around me thinks I'm going crazy...[/COLOR][/FONT]

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He had more concerns about his being a father than Lily did. She had seen him with Harry when he'd been tiny, and Charlie and Lilith as well. Both the two younger children weren't really to far apart in age as it stood and she never liked leaving her children out of things. She adored them no matter who they belonged to. Since they still had to wonder about Charlie. No Sev had never put her on the spot and insisted that either she do something or he'd do it for her. Well...at least not where James was concerned anyways. It was only his urging her to stay with James because of the children that she had not told him years ago. Both of them were concerned what would happen on that ground. Lily didn't want to to think that James might try to take Harry and Charlie from her our of spite. He had no claim to Lilith as she wasn't his. Lily had done her best by her family. She was troubled by how things went, she had hoped things could be different but that simply was not to be. Since she couldn't bring herself to shake the feelings she had always had. It was a relationship that had survived so much. It was not in any way shape or form going to end anytime soon. There was only one way that would seperate the two of them and that was a very final way. Eileen had always been very sweet to her and it had left an impression on Lily as a girl. She had still loved the woman like a mother when she had gotten older even after her and Severus spat.

The hospital brought back horrid memories of the machines her parents had been hooked up to. The smell of medical clean that took away the more familiar scents. The blarring over head lights the light beeping. No Lily wouldn't go to a place like that if she could at all help it. Better at home in her own bed. If there were complications and she died she wanted to be around the familiar not the alien sterileness of a hospital. She had been very blunt in that.It had colored her opinion of hospitals. That he had hurried home was no missed on Lily, that he had fussed at her for handing out Halloween candy had surprised her. She had laughed and asked him to go help his mother.She had been through childbirth twice already and she knew perfectly well how it would be, if she had sensesd something was wrong she'd have not been still peacefully handing out candy. Though you couldn't tell a man who was going to fret over it that. She understood this was new to him. This was also his first born. She had suggested he sit on the bed with her and put his arms around her. It would be easier on him that way and while he wasn't concerned of broken fingers or a hand. Lily was and she didn't want him in pain. It had only been a couple hours not long at all where some people could make child birth look hard. Lily wasn't one of them. She made it seem simple and easy even. Once she was cleaned up and she was little Lilith with her dark hair and eyes. It had exsausted her and Lily had slept very well after that she was fairly sure with the excitment wearing off Sev had slept also. When it had come to owls, Lily had gotten Nox because of his sleek black feathers and his warm loving nature. Sure he might not be the greatest of messengers but he loved them.Especially Severus for what ever reason.It wa the same way Lily had liked Othello when she first met him. Still Othello was elegant and acted a gentleman he bowed to people, much like a gryffion would. She often wondered if there wasn't some gryffion in his lineage somewhere. There daughter was very much like the two of them and surprisingly so was Charlie. Lily loved them no matter there disposition. If Lilith wound up in Slytherin she'd deal with it so would Severus, she'd be no less proud of her children no matter what house they wound up in. Severus was a Potions Master, not just a Potions Professor there was rank behind his knowledge and he was right to be proud of it. He was gifted with it. Lily had been unhappy with him for not at leasting telling her he was going to make it first. Of course the boy was in the wrong for what he had done, but it was not something that Lily thought was worth having him loose his lunch on the carpet for. Than again Lily was a sweeter nature than Severus after all.

Lily knew that he was fond of his furniture.

She had known how hard it would be for him the double life he had to live but to her it was better a double life than no life at all. If he needed someone to be there for him when it was over that was her. She kept him together she kept an eye on him too she loved him enough to make sure he was still in one piece by the end of the evening.it wasn't a life for everyone to live and it took alot out of a person. Thus Lily was there to fill in for him what she could. it was true that Lily didn't need to use any other means than to make him meet her eyes to know what was going on with him. The eyes were the windows to the soul after all and Lily's gaze always seemed to see better than most peoples. She had a keen sense for Sev and knew when he was upset, happy, playful it was more than a feeling and more than anything they could be learned by magic or potion. Lily had been as quiet around Tobias as Severus had she allowed him to see Lilith since he seemed to think it was his right. She never mentioned that to him though because there realationship wa strained enough as it stood. tobias never seemed to think much of anyone or anything and so she couldn't trust the man around her newborn. She'd have commited muggle murder if the man ever harmed her child. There was one thing about Lily that everyone knew and that was you did not touch her babies. With Eileen's passing it hit Lily hard yes. It was like loosing another mother all over again and she felt like she should have been there more but that was normal. She had stayed strong and stotic as she could for his sake. Though she cried with him just as often. It was natural though if he was sad she was said. If he cried she cried too. That was just how it was. The two of them had been so close as children but she had suspected Eileen was right when she said if Severus had not tread that road they would have married shortly after school. There was a war going on with Voldemort lots of people were eloping and getting married suddenly. It was that fear that prompted many as she well knew.

She was always careful to try not to draw to much attention to how much she actually meant to Sev, the problem was as guarded and protective as they were. It was still rather obvious when the two of them were anywhere near each other. It was a side of the bond they shared. They were at ease and comfortable with one another. It was how people had seen what they hadn't those years ago. Lily would have felt bad for the Minotaur had she not been its target she knew that the red thing was a Myth but the fact the night had been slightly windy was what had caused her hair to weave around her and caused her to be noticed. Not to mention her clothes were usually loose. That he had not killed the Minotaur had made her happy. She had known that it was something of a mystery to why it had gotten it through its head to come after her. A year or so away from Head Girl she was already gifted in the area of Charms and knew with Severus's training more about Defense of Dark Arts than any of there previous and current fumbling Professor. She'd have lied if she had said she didn't think James would pester Severus again, but that was just one of those things. She had told him to lay off Sev that yes he was good at Dark Magic she tried to explain that her best friend had a mean streak. It had only been rewarded with a What Evans sweet on me finally, to give me a warning. she'd wanted to bash him with the broom she'd been carrying at the time instead she'd scowled at him and stormed off to tutor Mary McDonald one of her friends from the Common's Room. Also one of Sev's goon friends favorite targets. She had rebounded one of Avery's spells back on him with a spell of her own that protected the target like a shield it bounced dark magic back. It was far from perfect and could hit someone else if not careeful, but she had worked to perfect that spell. That she and James were still together was just for the children. Really. Lily didn't sleep at home often she worked for the Order in the Evenings and she was soon to be the Charms Professor at Hogwarts During the day. She only slept when she was curled up with one of her children, that was to give them a sense of security. She went to Severus for the same reason.Wither he was in the bed or not just hearing him near lulled her. She could sleep listening to the sounds of papers moving about, or the potions boiling. That he had come the minute she'd sent for him at the hospital had meant so much to her. James was an Auror and there was only so much time he could get off. Lily had been in short a mess since Petunia had her husband to lean on. She and Petunia had, had an uneasy truce at the hospital bound by the fact there parents were not going to make it but it had shattered in the light of the fact there parents had divided everything evenly between those they left behind. "Recovered ?" Lily scoffed gently. "I'm not ill just a touch tipsy the worst of it has worn off I am certain." she stretched at the gentle stroke to her back and nuzzled into him. It was comforting for her. She shook her head at that "Oh no I don't think that would be a bright idea, concidering I fear she may have ah..jumped her husband if you catch my drift." she laughed softly and drew back to peek up at him through her bangs and faint smirk on her face. "Don't worry your safe..I'm in no condition.." she winked.His conversation about Nox made her tap a nail to her lip. 'Well goodness I think that the kids play with him and.."[/color[ at that the like black bundle of feather came burstin in. Lily adjusted the long sleeves of the robe she was in as Nox was caught and comforted. [color-ff99ff]"Well, that covers that." she laughed and came over to pet the shivering but faithful little own.

the two of them had made a lasting friendship with Myrtle whom thought them both greatly amusing. Still she'd never ratted either of them out and she was kind to them.They in return were protective of her.Her question had been valid at that point. She'd had a long day and she was not feeling in the best of spirits. She was use to him averting his eyes or dropping his attention to his book when she switched out of her clothing. For what ever reason that evening it had just upset her.He had reach into the bubbles to cuddle her at her question. She had melted into him at that point. He had told her he'd never think that of her. That he couldn't and it had soothed her. In the manner only he could. She hadn't been playful and dragged him in that evening proof of her poor mood. One of the other girl's in her dorm had borrowed her potion and had not told her. The girl had not realized it was a magically made one and that it wouldn't stop bubbling because it had been made to give privacy in the tub. There was a charm that went with it to stop the bubbles and that had not been known. Luvkiy Lily had prevented bubbles from flooding the place for fear of herself and Sev getting into a world of trouble. She never blamed her head of house with people like Sirius Black running around causing trouble. She knew very well that the McGonagall had issues with her other students and that she had to go by tried and true practices. It wouldn't be until her seventh year that the two would really get to know each other well when Lily became Head Girl. That Severus was about to explode wasn't missed on the red head and she'd hugged him to sooth his frayed nerves. yes it was an understanding that he was protective of her. Though something more that she had feelings for him in return. She couldn't help her cheek as it were it was just a part of who she was. She bantered with Slughorn too. It could be said that Lily spoke her mind simply put. She didn't cover her words when she had suggested he'd have been better off without his clothes on she'd not been teasing she'd meant it. The fact he'd blushed said a whole lot. Severus never blushed so she had kept her teasing in check for that. Had McGongall caught them at that point, they'd have both been in deep, deep trouble.

She knew she and only she could get away with pouncing him and she had done it sparingly because she knew that they didn't work for him. They'd both landed on the ground more than once because of that.There would never be any pretending to be her for someone else not because they couldn't polyjuice her. Rather because she acted different with him in Private than she did in Public and there was the fact they shared a bond.he knew her thoughts even at the best of times. He was the only one she'd drop her barriers for.She would not deny that she was sleepy as resting in these days were harder and harder. There was a hidden war going on and it wasn't going to remain hidden much longer as far as she knew. Lily leaned into him as she answered him. "All right as long as you promise." she whispered softly. She smiled faintly at the stiffled laugh and peeked her head back to glance up at him her eyes twinkled. "I would hope not, as I would hope..that you would no longer be testing potions with out a heads up upon yourself Severus." she nodded about the secondary potion and knew she'd remember to be able to do that later.Of course Severus would actually need to stand in line if he planned on skinning Grayback because as sure as there was a sun in the sky and a moon at night, if they ever met it would be bloody. There would be a fury behind the spell thrown at him.

"Yes,my Prince I know it is no excuse but you have to remember that not everyone adapts as well as others do." she whispered with a sigh. "I mean I don't sleep unless I am here with you. Its silly and its a touch foolish, but I don't like the bad dreams that come with being away." she whispered in a low tone. "There's only one way it'll end..and you know that." she said her words softly whispered.Lily couldn't help but think he was her soulmate. No one knew her better. He had grown up with her, knew her inner thoughts and when she was in turmoil. She rolled her eyes "Oh I disagree long lived or not, I'd rather not be fifty and chasing around a five year old." she laughed at the idea of that and she might have teased him some more had she not been so tired.She nodded "I think she suspects already Severus she's been too polite to ask so far. She is keyed to my moods she knows when I am upset or happy about something. She knows how happy I am to see you when were together." he was nudging her towards the bed and Lily wrinkled her nose faintly. She didn't fight it though and allowed him to lead her though there was a certain air about her that told him if she was going to bed so too was he. Lily held up the edges of the long robe so she didn't trip and fall over them as she settled onto the edge of the bed and scooted into the center of the bed as he spoke."I can't even fathom James half the time. I can't imagine you can either, but yes it seems true enough to me. Since I told him no constantly in school I think it made him want me all the more, and than there was the defying Voldemort, and the War around us..We rushed into things we never should have." she rested her hand to her temples and sighed softly. "I can't say what I was thinking, but no one is perfect, no one " Lily smiled and shook her head motioning to his state of dress. "You should also get ready for bed." she informed him. "I'm not sleeping alone." it was certainly more a statement than anything since she knew he slept far to little as it was and often only when she was there as well. They were a fine pair to be trying to rest. 'Perfect reason for you to be getting yourself ready for bed." she said cheerfully. She had pulled the heavy duvet from the foot of the bed and spread it out over the bed turning the sheets back.

"How have I been ? Okay I suppose I have been so busy lately and the children are fine. Harry is so overly excited about school though I think the only thing he can concentrate on is quidditch." Lily rolled her eyes lightly. "Charlies is wanting to go to school to he wandered away from me in Diagon Alley the other evening and about gave me the scare of my life." she shook her head lightly "Luckily, my location spell works just fine." she laughed."I fear all my children are Gryffindor bound." she shrugged slightly "Not that its such a bad thing." she added. "I have my better days than others, you know. Tripping over trash cans and such." she sighed."I'm much better now though." her words a touch softer. "Here with you."


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[/i][/color] Severus
HOWMANYWORDS ! 3581
WEARINGTHIS ! One of Sev's Robes
WHEREAREWE !Dungeons Severus's Private Rooms.
LISTENINGTO ! Trick or Treaters.
NOTES ! Nope ^_^
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[Severus Snape]

WALK BLINDLY TO THE LIGHT
and reach out for his hand .

don't ask any questions
AND DON"T TRY TO UNDERSTAND

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

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Severus was always going to have concerns over being a father. It was the fact that he had not had a good father that was part of it. He had been ok around the children, sure, but that was looking after them like he would hope anyone would, what would happen when they were a permanent part of his life, well he worried. What would happen if a child caught him when he had a headache? If someone had put him in a temper? Or if they simply needed the day to day things a father should be able to provide them? Of course, it was not because of this that he had urged Lily to stay with James, he loved her, he loved their child and liked her other children, but the whole situation was going to get messy if it were not handled right. He had tried to do the right thing by Lily when they had started to be friends once more, but what was right for Lily hadn’t been what they had both been trying to do in not pushing their relationship, what they were to each other, their relationship had then, had always and always would evolve of its own accord. It was certain now that neither they nor any outside influence was going to break their bond, and he wouldn’t have that any other way. He had found out too late just how much he had loved his mother, if he had known that, certain mistakes may not have been made, but that was the past and he had always been grateful that Eileen had had Lily, that his mother was not left to suffer alone the situation she had been left in.

Severus had not had much of an experience with hospitals, but that had been because his mother would always fix anything up herself when he was poorly or injured. In truth, some of the things he would have gone to the hospital with would have caused them to try and take him away from his parents so perhaps it was all for the better. He had the same memory as Lily over her parents, however, he had loved them because they had found room in their hearts for a boy that was not theirs. While he was always going to fuss over Lily, he could quite understand why Lily would not want to be in a hospital, why she would not want to be anywhere but where she called home. It was why he had hurried back, to reassure her, to make sure that everyone she needed around her was there for her. If he was home to her, then there was never going to be any other way. He had given her a half worried look but had gone to help his mother when she had asked him. Not that he had been anything near proficient, especially not next to a midwife and his mother, so he had been more than happy to lie with Lily and have his arms around her, to let her know that he was there and would not be going anywhere. He had curled up with Lily and Lilith, when the excitement had faded away, he had watched over them for a few moments, before he got very much the look from his mother letting him know in no uncertain terms that he was expected to sleep also, that things were taken care of. Severus was a proficient wizard, his mother though had had years of magic over him, so all in all it was for the best that he listened to her as much as he would have watched Lily and Lilith all night regardless of how little he had slept in the past couple of days. Severus had not made any comment against Lily buying Nox, and he had kept to himself that as far as he could see the bird was pretty and that was it, quite like one of their DADA Professors. Severus had been wrong to one degree, Nox was pretty, loyal and affectionate. And he tried, his heart was in the right place. It was almost certain that Othello had more than owl in his lineage, Severus was not quite sure what but it was there. Owls were quite often elegant, but Othello was courtly and that was something unique indeed. If Lilith were Slytherin then Severus would deal with it, given the generation coming into the House though, it had to be said that there were better paths for her. He would not love his girl any the less though, that much had to be said. Severus had removed some of the ingredients from the potion, it had not been meant to be actually made, but he knew that what he had was not lethal, and that he had counter measures, he actually had a potion to stop the sickness before it emptied the contents of the stomach. Still, he had promised her he would let her know before he did anything like that again, and give her time to say hell no rather than drink it just as an owl should get to her. Given that he could be very Slytherin when he wanted to be, it was an addition that simply had to be added. As far as Severus had been concerned, the boy had deserved to lose whatever was in his stomach given the rules he had broken, he also did not suffer fools gladly and had no intention to start.

Severus’ furniture was not there to be thrown up on, however. While wet Lilies were fine on it, partially digested pastries from Hogsmead, not so.

Severus had never had any illusions that the life he now led would be easy. The life of a double agent was fraught with peril and he was lucky that he had both the proficiency in occlumency he did and the sound reasoning as to why he should not open his mind to the Dark Lord. Besides which, as far as the Dark Lord knew, he could always use veritiserum to get the truth, Severus had not revealed to him the fact that he could lie under its influence, Lily was the only one that he had told. Other than getting onto this road to begin with, it would not have been something that he could have kept going without Lily. She was the only one that saw just how very hard it was for him, and to piece him together when he felt he was falling to pieces. She also knew everything that he learned from the Death Eaters, she knew far more than anyone either in the Order or the Death Eaters would ever know. Severus did not need forcing to meet Lily’s eyes, a simple request did the job as it had the one night he had sought to hide them, the one night he had felt he could not look anyone who actually did care about him in the eyes. It was quite possible that he would not have ever seen his mother again had Lily not rushed to see him after he had sent the letter that had been carried inside the locket she wore. Severus still had an underlying fear of his father, it had never left him, but he had not felt that he had any right to see Lilith. He had not argued, Lily, Lilith and his mother did not need that, but Tobias Snape had no more right to the title grandfather than he did the title father, the latter of which he had never sought as long as Severus could remember in any case. As much as Severus was scared of him, however, he would have lashed out to protect his daughter and would quite likely have been sent to Azkaban for it, Severus had removed pieces of one for threatening one he had loved before after all. Severus had no doubt that Eileen’s passing had hurt Lily every bit as much as it had hurt him, and he had felt that he should try to be strong for her sake, but that was not going to happen in this case. There were certainly things that he regretted, however they had turned out, it had been all he could do, being as such would have been a disservice to her, not to torture himself for them after her passing. What had been had been, Severus had never grudged Lily having gotten married, and he knew well enough that taking the path he had had pushed aside what should have been, their relationship was no less strong now than it had ever been.

Lily and Severus were both careful, it was the way things had to be. As far as the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters knew, Severus was using Lily’s love for him to their own ends, so while they could afford to be what would need to be seen to be ‘convincing’, they had to be wary and not just for what might happen if James found out. It was true that no one could pick up just what they were to each other and be that person through spell or potion, no one could know what they were like together when no one else could see, and there was a feeling that came with Lily being around, if their connection was as deep as to make them soul mates, if someone were trying t impersonate Lily it would be something that also resonated that deep. Severus would not feel sorry for the minotaur. He had been pushed into what he had done and was not going to regret it, ultimately he did him no lasting harm, or not as much as taking a limb or opening him up would have caused. He had not known why he had taken the horn, or if he would ever leave it where the minotaur could find it, not that it would have been any good had he not taken the horn in the first place, no magic could heal a cursed injury of that extent. Severus knew more than any DADA Professor they were ever going to have, it was fairly safe to say that. He had acted out in some classes, but he had made sure that it was in a way that gave those who wanted to learn more of a chance of doing so than if he had stayed quiet and simply cruised through. Even in the seventh year in which he had had an almost indefinite detention with the Professor, he taught the class more than the Professor could ever have dreamed of doing. Severus was not big on more than one warning, and James had certainly received his. If he had pestered him after what had happened with Lily, then he quite simply would not have had a face to look at in the mirror. He hadn’t actually wanted to take it that far but he would have done so without a second though if necessary. Severus had defended those of his House who had already been acting the Death Eaters they would become fairly blindly, he had known that it was not worth risking Lily’s friendship, and later love, over, but she could not be with him all the time when he would have to share a common room with the people in question. He had also blinded himself to the more insidious threat that they had represented, btu that was something that they could not change through wanting now. He rarely slept without Lily being there either, truth be told. There was no definite need, but she had put him together, helped him to sleep when he had fled it for so long. He felt safe with her, as he always had as a boy. He would not have hesitated on hearing about her parents, whatever their relationship had been he would have been there, they had always meant a lot to him and it was something that was never going to change much as Lily had continued to visit his mother. He made a small pfft sound, “You’re missing an eyebrow, splinched, I assume.” A little warmer, he said, “In any case, it’s best to be sure.” They didn’t need an excuse to be close and sleep together but it would serve. He quickly pieced together what Lily meant by Cora jumping her husband and he being safe and gave a playful, for him, “Maybe next time then.” It seemed likely that Nox would have made his way towards them if the children played with him, children were not always good with cages and Nox had his feathers pulled, and sure enough the owl had risked the storm for them. Sev petted him lightly, “Silly little bird risking the weather like that.” There was no rancour in his tone, he did like the owl, but he was glad that he had somehow managed to get from A to B safely.

Myrtle had been a little odd and in need of a friend, that Severus could relate to her and that Lily would quickly befriend her was natural, she also turned out to be a very good friend, one of the few that Lily and Severus could really share. Severus was still protective of her now, what people forgot about her was that she had died a child and in effect still was one. Whatever her true age now, it was all she knew how to act, with all of the good and bad points that entailed. She was smart, she had been a Ravenclaw judging by her uniform, but she was still a child none the less. Severus had reached into the bath to cuddle with Lily, she had to have been in a poor mood to even ask that and that she didn’t just drag him in then was testament to how low she was feeling. He was not an expressive person by habit, but he had whispered to her, how beautiful she was, how much he loved her, and he had let that speak in his touch, not inappropriate, but certainly more intimate than anyone not in a relationship such as theirs had a right to be as he cradled her. Severus would have allowed the girl to be swamped by the bubbles if there were a way he and Lily would not get into trouble for it, she had no right to steal their potion. One of them would have needed to be there to charm the bubbles away in any case, sooner was perhaps better than later. Severus did not blame Professor McGonagall after the fact, he had just been seething then. McGonagall was one of the Professors that he truly had respected and still did now, though for obvious reasons expressing that was not something that he could do all too often. The problem was that she was making insinuations about Lily’s character that she should have known better than to believe for an instant. He did not mind Lily’s cheek in the slightest, there was being playful and there was being rude or patronising, Lily never once crossed that line. He had blushed though, that could not be denied, he loved her and such a suggestion from her would reach deeper than it would from any other. That she did not flirt was likely for the better, it was something that he would later get used to but not having been used to all that much affection, on top of how he did feel about her, it was not something a boy not far removed from puberty could quite handle.

Severus did not altogether mind being bundled to the ground, if only because there was no way anyone else was going to be able to do it. That it was Lily made it ok because of that bond they had so being scuffed up was a small price for feeling close to her. People could not pretend to have what they did because it was something natural, it wasn’t put on by either of them. It would not go well at all for anyone who decided to try, it was as simple as that. Severus knew more about how the war was going to progress than he wanted to, but then it was that knowledge that would allow them to run damage control. He nodded, giving Lily a light squeeze, “I promise, though I know not by what to promise on other than my own self.” He shook his head, “Well yes, I said that I wouldn’t.” He could not and would not try to lie to Lily, she knew him better than anyone had a right to claim.

“I did not mean that as an attack, dear, the war affects all caught up in it is all I meant, that it’s understandable to a degree.” Ambushing people with bins, well he didn’t quite get where that came into it. He was not likely one to defend James, but he was secure enough that he did not need to attack him either. “I can’t say that I get much sleep without you either, so we’re certainly not a pair to tell each other off over it.” He laughed lightly, “Oh I don’t know, I can see you chasing that five year old at fifty and still keeping up with that five year old’s future five year old grandchild. But yes, sooner rather than later would be better for all.” He nodded, “She is a sharp girl, and eventually she will ask, all we can do is as we have done, make preparations for that.” They had already decided that they would use the secret keeper charm should such become known to Lilith, and she would know that it wasn’t for lack of love that Severus had not revealed that secret to her, charmed so that she would not find them unless she knew to look, there were birthday and Christmas cards for each of her years waiting for her in her vault at Gringotts, as well as Galleons for each occasion. He knew that Lily was not going to sleep and allow him to stay awake, he was not intending to either and he sat on the bed himself. He held her lightly, it was all he could do. He could not understand how one who had been in the danger James had could still remain so juvenile. “So many people rushed into things, the war, fear, I’ve seen it on both sides. I doubt that Narcissa’s child would be starting this year if not for the same circumstances.” He focussed on Narcissa rather than bring Lucius into the conversation, he had gone to places with her when Lucius had left school where she would be at risk from boys who did not like to hear no, Lily had gotten on with her as well. He had wound up being Draco’s godfather, being that he had been close to his mother and at one time, had a good friendship with his father, that was not so good now on his side though his ability to lie worked well enough there as it did anywhere. He smiled, brushing a lock of hair from Lily’s face before pulling his robes off. Lily had once charmed his buttons to undo themselves, it had only worked once though it had been good natured on both sides, “Not to sound like I take advantage of you, but I did not intend on missing a chance to sleep with you, or at all being quite honest.”

Severus shared Lily’s eyeroll over Quidditch, “Minerva will be glad to hear that, I am sure.” It was true enough that Gryffindor had not won all too much in that regard. Lily had asked him to help ensure that he did not become a bully, that he kept his feet on the ground, neither of them needed to think of James. “He’ll settle. Where did Charlie wind up?” He knew that Lily’s charms worked, that was a boon it seemed, at least in this case. He gave a mock hmph, “I’ll have my hands full enough without those three, I think.” Lily knew well enough that he would love Lilith all the same wherever she wound up, and that he cared for her other children whatever front was very likely going to need to be put on. He wrapped his arms around her as he settled into the bed next to her, “I’m glad that I could help, given that you’ve made my day equally better by being here.”

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[/color] ![/b] Three thousand, four hundred and fifty four
tag ! Lily
song ! Footprints in the Sand – Leona Lewis
[green]notes[/green] ! Nope
other ! Nope

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